Begin Again: Epilogue

“WHAT? For god’s sake,” Ellen grumbles with her phone on her right ear. “I have no idea, Mom. You’re gonna have to ask Portia. One second.” She hands her phone to Portia who’s sitting next to her. “My mom wants to speak to you.” 

Portia frowns. She puts down her burger on her lap, wipes her hands with a paper and takes the phone. “Hi, Betty.”

“Portia! How are you, my dear?” 

Portia automatically distances the phone from her ear. Ellen’s mother’s voice sounds so loud in the silence of Shakespeare Garden at noon, where Ellen and her are having a simple lunch together. “I’m doing really well, Betty,” Portia answers with a quieter voice, hoping that Betty DeGeneres would lower her voice. “I hope you’re doing well, too.”

“Of course I am!” Betty answers cheerfully without lowering her voice one bit. “Anyway, Portia, I was just asking Ellen if you’d be willing to name your first born with my middle name?” 

Portia chokes midway and coughs. If she’s still chewing her burger, she’s sure that she’d spit it out of her nose. “I’m sorry, what?” she asks with suffocated voice while she glares unhappily at Ellen who can’t stop laughing. 

“I hope you and Ellen would be willing to name your firstborn Jane,” Ellen’s mom repeats, undisturbed by her daughter’s laughter who must be audible to her. “I mean, if it’s a girl, of course. If it’s a boy, then it’d be John, I guess? It’s a very sweet name…” 

“Betty, I’m not pregnant!” Portia cuts her off with heated cheeks. 

“Oh, of course not, darling. I mean once you two get married. I hope you won’t wait too long. So when my first grandchild is born, I hope you’d use my middle name. What do you think?” 

Portia is at loss for words for a while. She turns to Ellen but the woman is still busy wiping her eyes and laughing. Finally Portia says, “Well, what if it becomes their middle name, too?” 

Ellen stops laughing and stares at Portia in utter shock. 

“I hope you understand, I’d like to name my firstborn after my mother or my late father,” Portia goes on. 

“Oh, of course!” Betty says cheerfully. “I think that’s a wonderful idea. Yes, yes. As the middle name is great, too.” 

Portia hands back the phone to Ellen after Betty hangs up. “What?” she asks when Ellen is still staring at her with unchanging expression.

“Does that mean that you’d want to marry me?” Ellen asks in astonishment. 

Portia shrugs. “I don’t know,” she says nonchalantly. “Either way you haven’t asked me before.”

“I haven’t asked you?” Ellen repeats with an astounded look. “Do you not remember how many times… Oh, fine.” She turns to fully face Portia, grabs Portia’s left hand and holds it in hers. For a moment she looks nervous, but when she looks at Portia, her sea-blue eyes look serious. “Portia de Rossi, you know that I love you. Deeply. It would be an unimaginable privilege for me to spend the rest of my life with you. So I’m asking you with all my heart and soul…..” Ellen stops and gulps. Her eyes flash the nervous look once more. Then she squeezes Portia’s hand and continues in a lower voice, “Will you marry me?” 

On that chilly afternoon where the spring is hanging somewhere in the air, while they’re sitting side by side on a bench at the Shakespeare Garden in Central Park, Portia stares into Ellen’s eyes with a huge smile on her face and a racing heart in her chest. 

Then she nods. 

Begin Again: Chapter 28

“I have to admit that Audrey does her job really well,” Portia says out loud, keeping her voice just a little above the loud music while Ellen and she walks towards the bar. The fashion show has just ended and right now there’s a throng of guests walking towards the party room where drinks and snacks are served. “She looks gorgeous as well.”

“She’s a model. Of course she’s gorgeous,” Ellen says. They arrive at the bar and Ellen turns to Portia. “What’s your drink? Blue Moon?”

Portia nods. After waiting for Ellen to mention their drinks to the bartender, Portia says, “She’s gorgeous and she likes you. Why don’t you like her?”

Ellen stares at Portia with kneaded brow. “Why don’t I like her? Well, if someone likes you, does that fact obligate you to like them back?” she asks back.

“Well, not really.” 

“Exactly,” Ellen nods her head, satisfied. She looks at Portia for a while, then asks, “Anyway, what makes you like me?”
 

Portia scoffs almost heartily. “You’re too confident. What makes you think that I like you?” 

“Are you going to keep denying it until the end of time?” Ellen replies with an amused smile. 

“Absolutely.”

“Alright. Let’s see how much longer can this thing go.” 

“Be my guest.” 

Ellen laughs and shakes her head. 

Their little bantering is finally interrupted by Audrey who’s approaching them with her sunshine-smile. “Hiiii! Thanks so much for coming. Did you guys enjoy the show?” 

Portia can’t help but think that Audrey’s attitude makes her look like she’s the designer and not just a model. But, after all, Audrey is a woman full of confidence.

Without waiting for their response, Audrey touches Ellen’s arm and says, “Ellen, there’s someone I’d like you to meet.” Then she turns to Portia. “You won’t mind if I take Ellen away for a minute, right, Portia?” 

“Portia’s coming with me,” Ellen says. 

Portia shakes her head. “No, that’s fine. Go. I’ll just wait here,” she says to Ellen. 

Ellen stares at her. “You sure?” 

Portia nods her head firmly. “Mm-hm.” Then she leans over to Ellen and adds, “But don’t make me wait too long.”

Ellen chuckles. “Alright. I promise.” 

****************

Audrey can’t really hear what they’re whispering about, but she sees the way Portia leans in and how Ellen’s hand subconsciously touches the girl’s shoulder. For a moment, it stuns her. As far as she knows, Ellen is not the type of person who likes to make physical contact without any specific reasons, because even though Audrey often touches her hand or snakes her arm around Ellen’s, Ellen herself has almost never touched her at all. 

Realizing that she must be frowning, Audrey quickly gets hold of her facial expression back. She throws her well-practiced smile at Portia before intertwining her arm with Ellen’s in a friendly manner and leaves. Audrey is essentially a very confident woman, but right now, she’s got to admit that she doesn’t feel very confident.

But, not feeling confident doesn’t mean that she can’t feign it. 

“That’s Nele Whittaker, the designer,” Audrey says to Ellen while pointing at a middle-aged man who dons an all-black outfit and looks busy with so many people swarming around him. “He’s the one who’d like to make acquaintance with you.” 

Ellen doesn’t say anything, only nodding her head a little. 

“Nele!” Audrey exclaims his name once they’re standing almost next to the designer. 

Nele Whittaker turns to see Audrey and flashes a big smile. “Oh, Audrey! Where have you been? Having fun?” 

Audrey tugs at Ellen’s arm and pulls her a little so that she steps forward. “You said you wanted to meet Ellen DeGeneres. Well, here she is.” 

Nele’s eyes immediately go to Ellen and widens accordingly with his smile. “Well, hello, hello, hello,” he says excitedly while shaking hands with Ellen. He turns to his crowd and politely says, “Excuse me for a minute.” Then he steps a little away from the crowd behind him, inviting Ellen and Audrey to do the same. “It’s such a pleasure to finally meet you. I have heard a lot of things about you from Audrey,” he says amiably. 

Ellen smiles politely as a response. “Thank you so much for inviting me. Congratulations on the success of your show.” 

Nele waves his hand. “Oh, there were unnecessary mistakes here and there, but let’s not talk about that.” 

“You’re exaggerating it,” Audrey says, rolling her eyes. “Everything went perfectly.” 

Nele stops a waiter who’s catering glasses of champagne around and takes one. “Anyway,” he says to Ellen, “I never thought that Audrey’s girlfriend is the owner of the notorious Ramses. How impressive!” 

Audrey can feel Ellen’s burning stare, but she pretends not to notice. Well, she did insinuate that Ellen is her girlfriend. So what? That’s not a crime, right?

“Gosh, it is almost impossible to get a table at your place, you know?” Nele goes on. “Hey, do you think you can help me out a little to get a table? I really want to hold a private party with some of my close friends there. Perhaps for next week?” 

This time Audrey risks glancing at Ellen. Ellen is still smiling, but Audrey knows that it’s a forced one. “I’m just a chef there, so I don’t know much about the reservation part,” Ellen says eloquently. “Perhaps you could talk directly to the manager, Andy Lassner. I’m sure he’ll be able to help you out with it.”

Liar, Audrey thinks to herself. Andy is Ramses’ manager, but for special reservations, he always has to go to Ellen to get her approval. So it seems that Ellen isn’t really impressed by Nele. Oh, can’t she help me a little? 

Nele turns to Audrey and says, “Audrey, you really are one lucky girl, you know that? You can eat at the Ramses whenever you want to.” 

Audrey laughs and tosses her hair back elegantly. “You’re right,” she says proudly, though she’s actually grimacing inwardly. In all honesty, believe it or not, not once has she ever tasted Ramses’ dishes. 

“Well, congratulations again,” Ellen says out of the blue, stretching her hand to shake Nele’s. “I shouldn’t hold you here, I’m sure there are lots of people who’d like to talk to you.” 

Nele shakes Ellen’s hand firmly. “Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate it. Are you leaving now?” 

“No,” Ellen says, “but my girlfriend is waiting for me at the bar, so I really have to get back to her.” 

Audrey automatically holds her breath while her whole body turns stiff. She absolutely didn’t see that coming. 

Nele seems to be as surprised as Audrey is. He stares at Audrey and Ellen alternately in confusion. “Oh?”

“Excuse me,” Ellen says before turning on her heels and walks away. 

Nele is now looking at Audrey with raised eyebrows. “Audrey? What…?” 

“Sorry, Nele. Excuse me,” Audrey cuts him off before running to catch up with Ellen without waiting for Nele’s response. 

She manages to find Ellen again amidst the crowd and she immediately grabs her arm. “Ellen, wait!”

Ellen stops on her track and turns around. She stands tall before Audrey with both hands on the pockets. “Yes, Audrey?” 

Audrey scowls, clearly upset. 

“What the fuck was that? Didn’t we agree on this? You said you’re not gonna comment on our relationship! You said you’re just gonna let me take care of it.” 

Ellen raises her eyebrows. “You told him that we’re in a relationship?” 

“Yes,” Audrey concedes. “He saw the article about us and asked me. I told you that I have to take care of my image in this business. I did what I had to do.” 

“Audrey.” There’s a slight change of tone in Ellen’s voice. Firmer and more serious. “I will never, ever lie for your sake.” 

Somehow that once sentence hits her like a bucket of cold water. Audrey purses her lips and crosses her arms. 

Ellen sighs, relenting, then says, “Listen. You can say anything you’d like to say to any client of yours, but I think it’d be better if you don’t say or insinuate that we’re in a special relationship of some sort.” 

“Because Portia won’t like it?” Audrey fails to hide the sharpness in her voice. 

Ellen looks at the bar, the place where Portia’s waiting for her, then back at Audrey. “I don’t like it either,” she says. 

Audrey bites her lip exasperatedly. “You…” she hesitates for a second, “love her?”

Ellen doesn’t say anything. 

A glimmer of Audrey’s hope rises back. “Oh, check this out,” she says almost triumphantly, “you can’t even answer that question!”

Ellen smiles but only slightly. “When I say it, I want her to be the first person who hears it.” 

Audrey’s shoulders slump defeatedly. She has run out of words and does nothing while witnessing Ellen walking away from her. She hates to admit it, but it seems like she really has lost this time. 

**********

Ellen walks back towards the bar where Portia’s waiting while chatting with a guy that Ellen doesn’t recognize. She walks a little quicker and touches Portia’s shoulder when she gets behind her. 

Portia turns around and smiles brightly once she sees that it’s Ellen. “Oh, hi. I didn’t expect you to come back so soon,” she says. She indicates towards the guy with her hand. “This is Douglas. He’s waiting for his friend as well, so we were just chatting.” And then Portia turns back to the brown-haired guy, about to introduce Ellen. “This is—“

“Ellen. Her fiancée,” Ellen interrupts smoothly, stretching her hand out to Douglas. 

For once during all their time together, Portia doesn’t hit or nudge Ellen with her elbow. She also doesn’t deny that statement. Ellen looks at her a little funnily, but doesn’t say anything about it either. Instead, she asks, “You want to go get dinner someplace else?” 

“Sure,” Portia says immediately. “Nice to meet you, Douglas.”

“You, too.” Douglas guy smiles and shows off a very unnatural row of white teeth. “Perhaps we can see each other again sometime.” 

In your dreams, Douglas, Ellen grumbles inwardly while grabbing Portia’s hand, practically dragging her out of the party. 

“So, how’s the short meet-up with the designer? What’s his names again, Whittaker?” Portia asks lightly once they’re out of the building and are walking down the semi-deserted street towards Ellen’s car which is parked two blocks away. One of Portia’s hand is in Ellen’s warm hand, while her other hand is stuffed inside her coat’s pocket. 

“Yeah, it was alright,” Ellen says. “But just like everybody else, he also asked for a table at the Ramses.” 

Portia chuckles, then she looks up. “Oh, look. It’s snowing!”

Ellen looks up as well and sees snowflakes as soft as cotton rains down from the dark sky. “And you left your gloves in the car,” she mumbles, glancing at Portia’s hand in hers. 

“Maybe I left my gloves in the car deliberately,” Portia says, smiling. 

Ellen doesn’t understand. “Why?” 

Portia looks at Ellen. Her eyes are gleaming with amusement and laughters. “Maybe I wanted to give you a reason to hold my hand.” 

Ellen stares at Portia for a while, then stops walking. Portia keeps on advancing until her hand that’s linked with Ellen’s stops her. 

She turns around. “What is it?” She asks. 

Ellen doesn’t say anything for about five seconds, then, “I love you.” 

Portia’s eyebrows shot up. For a couple of seconds she just gapes at Ellen in astonishment. Ellen breathes out slowly when she feels a huge relief washes all over her after she just said the big 3 words. 

“And you decided to say it now?” Portia asks. She looks around with a soft smile on her face. “Here? In the middle of the road? In the middle of Park Avenue?” 

“What? Is there some sort of an appointed place to express my feelings?” Ellen asks back. 

Portia shrugs. “Well, not really.” 

Ellen smiles and pulls Portia’s hand softly so the girl is a step closer to her. “So,” she mumbles. “I finally said that I love you. And you say….?” 

“I…. don’t hate you?” Portia says with a questioning tone. 

Ellen squints her eyes and pretends to think. “Well, you see… that, I already know. Perhaps you should try again,” she says and pulls Portia’s hand again.

Portia lets herself step an inch closer to Ellen. “I think,” she looks down for a second, then looks up at Ellen with beaming eyes, “I like you.”

Ellen’s smile widens and her heart soars. This is the very first time she hears Portia says it. Feeling confident, Ellen finally pulls Portia into a hug. Ellen’s arms snake around Portia’s waist while she looks down to the girl who has become half of her soul. “You think?” She repeats Portia. “Do you think you could proooobably get rid of those two words?” 

Portia giggles. “Alright.” She inhales. “I….”

Ellen waits in anticipation. 

“….love you too.” 

Ellen freezes for a second. Her wide eyes gaze at Portia. She can almost feel her heart stop beating for a good 3 seconds before it suddenly beats like crazy. “Are you serious?” 

Portia nods her head. Once. “Yes.”

Ellen has never felt such joy in her life. Portia loves her. Portia de Rossi loves her back. It almost feels too good to be true, but she would accept it happily any day. There are billions of things she’d like to say to Portia, but at the moment her brain is still echoing the 4 words that Portia just said. So she finally makes up her mind to do it. Right then and there. In the middle of the road. In Park Avenue. Amongst the many snowflakes that float down around them. 

She kisses Portia. 

Begin Again: Chapter 27

Francesca pushes the door open, entering A Piece of Cake and immediately finds herself amidst a sea of people. Portia’s patisserie is exceptionally busy today. She wonders what’s so special about today that so many people have decided to buy cakes. She looks around the shop, looking for Portia. All the staffs are busy serving the customers, but Portia is not seen to be among them. Fran is just about to approach one of the girl staffs to ask, but her eyes finally catch the sight of Portia appearing from the back of the shop followed by Sebastian. 

“Can’t Mitch fix it?” Portia talks to Seb with a furrowed brow. She doesn’t see Fran and haven’t realized her presence albeit almost standing next to her. 

“Perhaps,” Seb answers, “but it’s gonna take time, Boss.” 

“And we have to deliver Mrs. Evans’ birthday cake right now,” Portia continues with a pensive face. “We can go by cab.” 

“Or I can drive you,” Fran suddenly chimes in. 

Portia’s head turns towards her and the girl blinks in surprise. “Oh, hey, Fran,” she greets after a brief moment. “How can I help you?” 

“I think today I’m gonna be the one who offers you a hand,” Francesca corrects her with a smile. “Something wrong with your car?” 

“Seems like it,” Portia sighs. “And it chooses today of any day to break down.” 

“I can help with the delivery,” Fran offers. “I heard it’s Mrs. Evan’ cake. Did you mean Christina Evans?” 

“Oh, right. She’s a friend of yours, isn’t she?” Portia asks. “She ordered a birthday cake for her son. She said she came here on your recommendation.” 

Francesca shrugs. “She was looking for the best, so I recommended her the best.” 

Portia smiles. “That’s so nice of you.” 

“I know Christina’s place and I can get you to her right now if you want to,” Fran says again. And perhaps take Portia to lunch with her afterward. That was actually Francesca’s initial plan; to spend the sunny Saturday with her. 

Portia looks at her for a while, then says, “Alright. I’m coming with you.” 

*****************

Christina Evans walks Portia and Francesca to the front door as she says her abundant thanks to them for delivering the cake right in time. “Anyway, I never thought that you’re the type of person who would help her girlfriend delivering a cake on Saturday, Francesca,” Christina teases her. 

Fran only laughs. Portia notices that Francesca didn’t try to correct her friend’s statement that clearly indicates that they’re a couple. Seems like she’s gonna have to explain to Francesca how things are right now— and that would be the answer to Fran’s question. 

“Do you have time for coffee?” Fran asks Portia when they’re already in her SUV. 

She’s got a lot of customers today and there are works still waiting for her, but Portia feels the need to clear things up with Francesca. “Yes,” she says. “Of course.” 

Portia is a little taken aback when Fran brings her to one of the cafés where they used to hang out a lot in back then. What stuns her is not Francesca bringing her here, but the fact that the café is actually located right across the Ramses. Portia and Fran used to come to this place very often, and it makes her wonder if she and Ellen had ever crossed path before without them ever knowing. 

She also wonders what Ellen is doing right now and whether Ellen is inside the building. 

“Portia?” 

Portia jumps a little and averts her gaze from Ramses’ front doors to Francesca. “Yeah?” 

“What do you want to have?” Fran asks. 

“Oh.” Portia sees that the waitress is already standing next to their table. “I’ll have one cappuccino, please. Thanks,” she says. 

“You remember this place?” Fran asks after the waitress leaves. 

“Hm,” Portia mumbles a confirmation. “Of course I do. We used to come here a lot.” 

Fran smiles. “Good times.” 

Portia stares at Francesca, hesitant, but finally she makes up her mind. “Francesca,” she starts, “why did you let your friend think that I’m your girlfriend?” 

It seems like Fran wasn’t expecting that question to come from Portia because her eyes widen in surprise, then she laughs quietly. “Wow. You really have changed, Portia,” she says. 

Portia chooses not to say anything. 

“Well,” Fran says after thinking for a while. “I wanted to show you that I really am ready to change if you would just give me one more chance.” 

Portia stays silent. She knew it. She knew this would be the answer. But, Francesca’s decision to change is 4 years late. Portia looks out the window towards the Ramses, then back at Francesca. She exhales slowly then shakes her head. 

Francesca leans over. “Can you give me one more chance?” 

“I’m sorry, Fran. I can’t,” Portia says carefully. 

“Why not?” 

Portia bites her lip, then decides to just spill the truth. “I’m already with someone.” 

Francesca raises her eyebrows. “Really?” she says with an unnecessary emphasis. “But you never told me before.” 

Portia has to wait to give out an answer because the waitress comes back with their orders. “Well, it hasn’t happened yet the last time I saw you,” Portia mutters while staring at her cappuccino. 

Stillness. Then, “Can I ask who it is?” 

Subconsciously, Portia looks out the window again, towards Ramses. 

“Are you with….” Fran stops her words, following Portia’s gaze. “Her?” 

The way Francesca says it turns Portia’s head back to her. 

“Portia, come on. You can’t be serious,” Francesca goes on with a blatant disapproving look. 

A strange feeling of annoyance sparks inside Portia. “Why not?” she asks defiantly. 

“She hurt you and you know she would do it all over again,” Fran says. “Why would you be with someone who hurts you? Portia, I really thought you were smarter than this.” 

Francesca’s undermining and patronizing tone offends Portia. Of course she’s smart, and she would not be told what to do by someone who suddenly popped back into her life after disappearing without any single news for 4 years. 

Perhaps Portia’s face mirrors her anger because Francesca sighs and says, “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry. That’s not what I was trying to say. But, Portia, surely you know—“ 

“Ellen has already met my family,” Portia interrupts, effectively stopping Fran’s words. 

“Andrew and Michael know?” Fran looks doubtful. 

“Yes.” Portia bravely stares back at Fran. “She took the risk of getting shot by my brothers.” 

Probably she shouldn’t have rubbed it in like that, but Portia just can’t help herself. 

Fran slightly winces, then she looks away towards the Ramses. “Is that her?”

Portia follows Fran’s eyes and sees Ellen stepping out of the Ramses. Portia’s heart skips a bit and a curve of smile threatens to emerge. Then another woman steps out of the restaurant too, following Ellen. Portia stops when she recognizes the stunning redhead. Audrey Hill. 

Ellen and Audrey are now standing by the road, talking. Actually, Audrey does most of the talking since she keeps on moving her hands as to emphasize every word she's saying, while Ellen is just standing there with both hands stuffed into her coat pockets. 

“You know that girl?” 

Portia hears Fran asking her, but her eyes are locked on both of the figures across the road. “Yes,” she says. “That’s her friend.” 

At that moment Audrey extends her hand and touches Ellen’s arm. 

“You sure?”

Audrey still hasn’t let go of Ellen’s arm. 

Portia drags her eyes away from both of the women to look at Francesca and smiles. “I, too, am sitting here with you, having coffee, talking,” she says. “Doesn’t mean I’m cheating on her.” 

****************

“I need your help, Ellen.” 

Ellen is so close to having a migraine attack. Right now is too early for her to face Audrey, but it seems like Audrey doesn’t care. That woman came to see her in her office and asked her to go with her to the fashion show of her newest client. 

“I really don’t think that’s a good idea,” Ellen says, leaning back in her chair. 

Audrey stares at her with a slight frown. “Why not?” 

Ellen resists the urge to rub her temple. “You know why I can’t go out with you anymore, Audrey.” 

Audrey’s green eyes squint. “You mean because you’re with Portia now?” 

“Yes.” 

Audrey crosses her arms and scowls. “Boring. I don’t understand why you suddenly can’t socialize anymore like you used to just because you….. already have a girlfriend,” she complains. “Does she not let you?” 

Ellen sighs and stands up. “I don't let myself,” she says firmly. “If that’s all, Audrey…” 

“You’re going out?” Audrey asks confusedly when Ellen grabs her coat from the back of her chair.

“Yes.” Ellen puts on her coat and starts heading to the door.

“But you just got here. Ellen! Wait,” Audrey quickly gets on her feet and catches up. 

Ellen steps onto the pavement and into the freezing air of January. Now, why did she decide to leave her warm and comfortable restaurant? she thinks to herself, shivering. Oh, right, because she needs to get away from Audrey. 

“Ellen!” 

Ellen exhales tiredly. It appears that Audrey will never go away even though she ignores her. That woman is going to keep on pestering her if she doesn’t listen to what she’s got to say. So she stops, stuffs her hands into her coat pockets and lets Audrey catches her up. 

“Ellen, you've got to help me,” Audrey insists. “Look, they were very impressed when they found out that I know you. They want to meet you. Isn’t that something to be proud of?” 

“And you told them that you can introduce me to them?” Ellen guesses. 

“Yes,” Audrey answers without any hesitation. “They are huge figures on fashion industry and I’m going to be the opening model of their fashion show. You know that it’s an honor and a really good opportunity. If bringing you to them can get me the long-term contract, then that’s what I’m gonna do.” 

Ellen’s eyebrows shot up. “Do you realize that you just admitted that you’re practically using me?” 

Audrey clicks her tongue annoyedly. “The way you say it makes it sounds bad,” she grumbles. She breathes out and touches Ellen’s arm. “Help me, please. Tell me that you’re going to attend the fashion show and the after party. You don’t even have to stay too long if you don’t want to. Just until I get you to meet them. I promise.” 

Ellen shakes her head and says grimly, “Audrey, you should stop regarding me like I’m a celebrity of some sort. I’m not one and I don’t to be one, do you understand?” 

Audrey tries to protest, “But you’re a Michelin-starred chef. You’re the owner of the best restaurant in New York and—“ 

“Do you understand?” Ellen cuts her off. 

Audrey pouts. “Yes,” she mumbles reluctantly. 

Ellen exhales. “Look, I can go to the party, but—“ she says quickly when Audrey starts to smile, “—but only if Portia agrees to go with me.” 

The smile disappears in a second. 

“And this would be the very last time that I’m helping you in this field,” Ellen continues. 

Audrey blinks her eyes. Then the perfect smile reappears, although it doesn’t show in her eyes this time. “Of course you can go with Portia. I’m sure she’s going to enjoy the show,” she says. Then she pulls out a big envelope from her handbag. “This is the invitation card. Don’t forget to bring it with you tomorrow because you won’t be able to get in without it. Okay? See you tomorrow night!” 

Ellen watches as Audrey walks away and breathes out in relief. Her head is truly aching now. 

“What are you doing standing in the middle of the way?” 

Hearing the familiar voice, Ellen suddenly smiles. She turns around lightly and catches Portia standing there, wrapped in a dark green coat, her face almost completely buried in the white shawl she’s wearing around her neck and the cream beanie she has on her head. “Ah, my one and only cabbage,” Ellen greets her cheerfully. “Delightful surprise.”

And her headache suddenly disappears. 

**************

“You were just with Francesca?”

“Yes,” Portia says as she looks around. Ramses isn’t open yet for lunch, so the spacious dining room is practically empty aside from the staffs who are preparing the tables while Ellen and Portia sit at the bar. The quiet atmosphere right now is fairly different from when the room is filled with people who wear formal attire. Right now Ramses feels oddly relaxing. 

“You were just with Francesca?” Ellen repeats her words slowly. 

Portia looks at Ellen with raised eyebrows. “What? You were just with Audrey.” 

“That’s different.” 

“What’s the difference?” 

“She’s your ex!” Ellen says with a frown. 

“And?” 

“And you can just suddenly decide to fall back into her arms again.” 

Portia glares at Ellen. “Thanks for thinking so highly of me," she says sarcastically. "What about you? You can just give in to Audrey and do as she wants. Not to mention that she’s clearly still hoping that you’re gonna choose her.” 

Ellen moves her finger playfully. “That's never gonna happen.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because I like you.” 

“Well, I—“ Portia stops for a while, thinking rapidly, “don’t hate you!” 

Ellen raises her right eyebrow. 

Portia’s cheeks feel warm realizing what just almost slipped out of her mouth. She looks away for a moment and when she looks Ellen’s way again, the short-haired woman is shaking her head with a quiet chuckle. 

“Is this, like, our first official little fight?” 

Portia sighs. “Seems like it.” 

Ellen leans over to her side and bumps Portia’s shoulder with hers. “You should’ve known that you don’t have to worry about Audrey,” she mutters. 

Portia snorts and bumps back. “You too,” she says. “I mean, about Francesca.” 

“Okay.” Ellen smiles. 

Still staring at Ellen, Portia bites her lips, thinking for a while. Then she says, “I can’t drive.” 

“Hm?” 

“I can’t drive,” Portia repeats. 

“Oookay,” Ellen says, clearly still confused as to what she should do with the information. 

Portia laughs. “You once asked me to tell you something that Francesca doesn’t know about me,” she reminds Ellen. 

“Oh, yes. Right.” Ellen nods her head. 

“She doesn’t know that I can’t drive.” 

Ellen stares back at Portia with a doubtful face. “She doesn’t know that you can’t drive?” 

Portia scrunches her nose, trying to come up with a right explanation. “Well, she doesn’t know the reason that I can’t drive is because I’m too scared,” she says carefully. “My dad died in a car crash, so…” Portia shrugs a little. “It makes me really can’t drive. Hey, is there a scientific term for phobia of driving?” 

Ellen looks at Portia, then shakes her head. “I don’t know.” 

“Yeah, I don’t know either,” Portia mumbles. 

“So you never told her about your phobia?” Ellen asks. 

Portia shakes her head. 

“May I ask why?” 

“Because I wanted her to think of me as a modern woman who’s strong and capable of doing anything on my own,” Portia admits. Yes, that’s the impression that she always wanted to give to Francesca. Fran is just so smart and perfect that sometimes it makes it hard for her just to be on the same level. 

Ellen is silent for a minute before saying, “I understand. Thanks for telling me.”

Portia clears her throat and smiles clumsily.

“So, would you want to go to Audrey’s fashion show tomorrow?” Ellen asks. 

Portia rests her chin on her hand and scrunches her nose. “Okay,” she says after a while. “And that’s only because I’ve never attended one before. Not because I don’t want you to be alone with Audrey.” 

Ellen nods her head. “Of course,” she says with sincerity even though an amused wide smile appears on her face.