“I have to admit that Audrey does her job really well,” Portia says out loud, keeping her voice just a little above the loud music while Ellen and she walks towards the bar. The fashion show has just ended and right now there’s a throng of guests walking towards the party room where drinks and snacks are served. “She looks gorgeous as well.”
“She’s a model. Of course she’s gorgeous,” Ellen says. They arrive at the bar and Ellen turns to Portia. “What’s your drink? Blue Moon?”
Portia nods. After waiting for Ellen to mention their drinks to the bartender, Portia says, “She’s gorgeous and she likes you. Why don’t you like her?”
Ellen stares at Portia with kneaded brow. “Why don’t I like her? Well, if someone likes you, does that fact obligate you to like them back?” she asks back.
“Well, not really.”
“Exactly,” Ellen nods her head, satisfied. She looks at Portia for a while, then asks, “Anyway, what makes you like me?”
Portia scoffs almost heartily. “You’re too confident. What makes you think that I like you?”
“Are you going to keep denying it until the end of time?” Ellen replies with an amused smile.
“Absolutely.”
“Alright. Let’s see how much longer can this thing go.”
“Be my guest.”
Ellen laughs and shakes her head.
Their little bantering is finally interrupted by Audrey who’s approaching them with her sunshine-smile. “Hiiii! Thanks so much for coming. Did you guys enjoy the show?”
Portia can’t help but think that Audrey’s attitude makes her look like she’s the designer and not just a model. But, after all, Audrey is a woman full of confidence.
Without waiting for their response, Audrey touches Ellen’s arm and says, “Ellen, there’s someone I’d like you to meet.” Then she turns to Portia. “You won’t mind if I take Ellen away for a minute, right, Portia?”
“Portia’s coming with me,” Ellen says.
Portia shakes her head. “No, that’s fine. Go. I’ll just wait here,” she says to Ellen.
Ellen stares at her. “You sure?”
Portia nods her head firmly. “Mm-hm.” Then she leans over to Ellen and adds, “But don’t make me wait too long.”
Ellen chuckles. “Alright. I promise.”
****************
Audrey can’t really hear what they’re whispering about, but she sees the way Portia leans in and how Ellen’s hand subconsciously touches the girl’s shoulder. For a moment, it stuns her. As far as she knows, Ellen is not the type of person who likes to make physical contact without any specific reasons, because even though Audrey often touches her hand or snakes her arm around Ellen’s, Ellen herself has almost never touched her at all.
Realizing that she must be frowning, Audrey quickly gets hold of her facial expression back. She throws her well-practiced smile at Portia before intertwining her arm with Ellen’s in a friendly manner and leaves. Audrey is essentially a very confident woman, but right now, she’s got to admit that she doesn’t feel very confident.
But, not feeling confident doesn’t mean that she can’t feign it.
“That’s Nele Whittaker, the designer,” Audrey says to Ellen while pointing at a middle-aged man who dons an all-black outfit and looks busy with so many people swarming around him. “He’s the one who’d like to make acquaintance with you.”
Ellen doesn’t say anything, only nodding her head a little.
“Nele!” Audrey exclaims his name once they’re standing almost next to the designer.
Nele Whittaker turns to see Audrey and flashes a big smile. “Oh, Audrey! Where have you been? Having fun?”
Audrey tugs at Ellen’s arm and pulls her a little so that she steps forward. “You said you wanted to meet Ellen DeGeneres. Well, here she is.”
Nele’s eyes immediately go to Ellen and widens accordingly with his smile. “Well, hello, hello, hello,” he says excitedly while shaking hands with Ellen. He turns to his crowd and politely says, “Excuse me for a minute.” Then he steps a little away from the crowd behind him, inviting Ellen and Audrey to do the same. “It’s such a pleasure to finally meet you. I have heard a lot of things about you from Audrey,” he says amiably.
Ellen smiles politely as a response. “Thank you so much for inviting me. Congratulations on the success of your show.”
Nele waves his hand. “Oh, there were unnecessary mistakes here and there, but let’s not talk about that.”
“You’re exaggerating it,” Audrey says, rolling her eyes. “Everything went perfectly.”
Nele stops a waiter who’s catering glasses of champagne around and takes one. “Anyway,” he says to Ellen, “I never thought that Audrey’s girlfriend is the owner of the notorious Ramses. How impressive!”
Audrey can feel Ellen’s burning stare, but she pretends not to notice. Well, she did insinuate that Ellen is her girlfriend. So what? That’s not a crime, right?
“Gosh, it is almost impossible to get a table at your place, you know?” Nele goes on. “Hey, do you think you can help me out a little to get a table? I really want to hold a private party with some of my close friends there. Perhaps for next week?”
This time Audrey risks glancing at Ellen. Ellen is still smiling, but Audrey knows that it’s a forced one. “I’m just a chef there, so I don’t know much about the reservation part,” Ellen says eloquently. “Perhaps you could talk directly to the manager, Andy Lassner. I’m sure he’ll be able to help you out with it.”
Liar, Audrey thinks to herself. Andy is Ramses’ manager, but for special reservations, he always has to go to Ellen to get her approval. So it seems that Ellen isn’t really impressed by Nele. Oh, can’t she help me a little?
Nele turns to Audrey and says, “Audrey, you really are one lucky girl, you know that? You can eat at the Ramses whenever you want to.”
Audrey laughs and tosses her hair back elegantly. “You’re right,” she says proudly, though she’s actually grimacing inwardly. In all honesty, believe it or not, not once has she ever tasted Ramses’ dishes.
“Well, congratulations again,” Ellen says out of the blue, stretching her hand to shake Nele’s. “I shouldn’t hold you here, I’m sure there are lots of people who’d like to talk to you.”
Nele shakes Ellen’s hand firmly. “Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate it. Are you leaving now?”
“No,” Ellen says, “but my girlfriend is waiting for me at the bar, so I really have to get back to her.”
Audrey automatically holds her breath while her whole body turns stiff. She absolutely didn’t see that coming.
Nele seems to be as surprised as Audrey is. He stares at Audrey and Ellen alternately in confusion. “Oh?”
“Excuse me,” Ellen says before turning on her heels and walks away.
Nele is now looking at Audrey with raised eyebrows. “Audrey? What…?”
“Sorry, Nele. Excuse me,” Audrey cuts him off before running to catch up with Ellen without waiting for Nele’s response.
She manages to find Ellen again amidst the crowd and she immediately grabs her arm. “Ellen, wait!”
Ellen stops on her track and turns around. She stands tall before Audrey with both hands on the pockets. “Yes, Audrey?”
Audrey scowls, clearly upset.
“What the fuck was that? Didn’t we agree on this? You said you’re not gonna comment on our relationship! You said you’re just gonna let me take care of it.”
Ellen raises her eyebrows. “You told him that we’re in a relationship?”
“Yes,” Audrey concedes. “He saw the article about us and asked me. I told you that I have to take care of my image in this business. I did what I had to do.”
“Audrey.” There’s a slight change of tone in Ellen’s voice. Firmer and more serious. “I will never, ever lie for your sake.”
Somehow that once sentence hits her like a bucket of cold water. Audrey purses her lips and crosses her arms.
Ellen sighs, relenting, then says, “Listen. You can say anything you’d like to say to any client of yours, but I think it’d be better if you don’t say or insinuate that we’re in a special relationship of some sort.”
“Because Portia won’t like it?” Audrey fails to hide the sharpness in her voice.
Ellen looks at the bar, the place where Portia’s waiting for her, then back at Audrey. “I don’t like it either,” she says.
Audrey bites her lip exasperatedly. “You…” she hesitates for a second, “love her?”
Ellen doesn’t say anything.
A glimmer of Audrey’s hope rises back. “Oh, check this out,” she says almost triumphantly, “you can’t even answer that question!”
Ellen smiles but only slightly. “When I say it, I want her to be the first person who hears it.”
Audrey’s shoulders slump defeatedly. She has run out of words and does nothing while witnessing Ellen walking away from her. She hates to admit it, but it seems like she really has lost this time.
**********
Ellen walks back towards the bar where Portia’s waiting while chatting with a guy that Ellen doesn’t recognize. She walks a little quicker and touches Portia’s shoulder when she gets behind her.
Portia turns around and smiles brightly once she sees that it’s Ellen. “Oh, hi. I didn’t expect you to come back so soon,” she says. She indicates towards the guy with her hand. “This is Douglas. He’s waiting for his friend as well, so we were just chatting.” And then Portia turns back to the brown-haired guy, about to introduce Ellen. “This is—“
“Ellen. Her fiancée,” Ellen interrupts smoothly, stretching her hand out to Douglas.
For once during all their time together, Portia doesn’t hit or nudge Ellen with her elbow. She also doesn’t deny that statement. Ellen looks at her a little funnily, but doesn’t say anything about it either. Instead, she asks, “You want to go get dinner someplace else?”
“Sure,” Portia says immediately. “Nice to meet you, Douglas.”
“You, too.” Douglas guy smiles and shows off a very unnatural row of white teeth. “Perhaps we can see each other again sometime.”
In your dreams, Douglas, Ellen grumbles inwardly while grabbing Portia’s hand, practically dragging her out of the party.
“So, how’s the short meet-up with the designer? What’s his names again, Whittaker?” Portia asks lightly once they’re out of the building and are walking down the semi-deserted street towards Ellen’s car which is parked two blocks away. One of Portia’s hand is in Ellen’s warm hand, while her other hand is stuffed inside her coat’s pocket.
“Yeah, it was alright,” Ellen says. “But just like everybody else, he also asked for a table at the Ramses.”
Portia chuckles, then she looks up. “Oh, look. It’s snowing!”
Ellen looks up as well and sees snowflakes as soft as cotton rains down from the dark sky. “And you left your gloves in the car,” she mumbles, glancing at Portia’s hand in hers.
“Maybe I left my gloves in the car deliberately,” Portia says, smiling.
Ellen doesn’t understand. “Why?”
Portia looks at Ellen. Her eyes are gleaming with amusement and laughters. “Maybe I wanted to give you a reason to hold my hand.”
Ellen stares at Portia for a while, then stops walking. Portia keeps on advancing until her hand that’s linked with Ellen’s stops her.
She turns around. “What is it?” She asks.
Ellen doesn’t say anything for about five seconds, then, “I love you.”
Portia’s eyebrows shot up. For a couple of seconds she just gapes at Ellen in astonishment. Ellen breathes out slowly when she feels a huge relief washes all over her after she just said the big 3 words.
“And you decided to say it now?” Portia asks. She looks around with a soft smile on her face. “Here? In the middle of the road? In the middle of Park Avenue?”
“What? Is there some sort of an appointed place to express my feelings?” Ellen asks back.
Portia shrugs. “Well, not really.”
Ellen smiles and pulls Portia’s hand softly so the girl is a step closer to her. “So,” she mumbles. “I finally said that I love you. And you say….?”
“I…. don’t hate you?” Portia says with a questioning tone.
Ellen squints her eyes and pretends to think. “Well, you see… that, I already know. Perhaps you should try again,” she says and pulls Portia’s hand again.
Portia lets herself step an inch closer to Ellen. “I think,” she looks down for a second, then looks up at Ellen with beaming eyes, “I like you.”
Ellen’s smile widens and her heart soars. This is the very first time she hears Portia says it. Feeling confident, Ellen finally pulls Portia into a hug. Ellen’s arms snake around Portia’s waist while she looks down to the girl who has become half of her soul. “You think?” She repeats Portia. “Do you think you could proooobably get rid of those two words?”
Portia giggles. “Alright.” She inhales. “I….”
Ellen waits in anticipation.
“….love you too.”
Ellen freezes for a second. Her wide eyes gaze at Portia. She can almost feel her heart stop beating for a good 3 seconds before it suddenly beats like crazy. “Are you serious?”
Portia nods her head. Once. “Yes.”
Ellen has never felt such joy in her life. Portia loves her. Portia de Rossi loves her back. It almost feels too good to be true, but she would accept it happily any day. There are billions of things she’d like to say to Portia, but at the moment her brain is still echoing the 4 words that Portia just said. So she finally makes up her mind to do it. Right then and there. In the middle of the road. In Park Avenue. Amongst the many snowflakes that float down around them.
She kisses Portia.
