Tu Es Mon Soleil - Chapter 1

Never seek to tell thy love,

Love that never told can be;

For the gentle wind doth move

Silently, invisibly

I told my love, I told my love,

I told her all my heart,

Trembling, cold, in ghastly fears.

Ah! She did depart!

Soon after she was gone from me

A traveler came by,

Silently, invisibly

He took her with a sigh

Love’s Secret, William Blake (1757-1827)

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Regina Collins slightly whistled while watching her surroundings before quickly crossing the street to one of the four-storey buildings which made their row, in one of the residential areas in Reverside Drive. New York City’s sky looked undeniably bright and lovely, as bright and lovely as her mood today. A beautiful day always made everybody happy, didn’t it?

Well, actually, not really. Not everybody. She’s sure there was somebody who was completely unaware that the leaves had already changed their colors to yellow, brown, and reddish. Unaware and not giving a single damn.

That person, was her particular bestfriend.

Regina was certain that Ellen DeGeneres was too busy to realize anything that happened in her surrounding lately. She had just wrapped up her piano concert in Europe, and next week would be the beginning of her US’ concerts.

And as usual, if Ellen was busy, she rarely got the will to answer any phone calls or sparing her precious time to reply any texts. And that’s why Regina decided to just see her bestfriend directly. At least to make sure that she was still alive. And also to make sure that her bestfriend wasn’t making the bright sky of New York City turned into a dark and gloomy one, as dark and gloomy as her mood.

Oh, that sounded exaggerated, but you’ll see that Ellen literally had the ability to make everybody around her not enjoying the beautiful day if she herself wasn’t in the mood of enjoying a beautiful day.

Regina jogged a bit while climbing some stairs in front of the building. She was just about to press the apartment’s intercom bell on the 4^th floor when the door opened up and a woman and a child stepped out of the building. Regina’s hand held the door opened while the mother and the child passed by.

She stepped into the building and let the front door lock itself up. A minute later, she was already standing in front of a white-painted door on the 4^th floor. Her hand went to press the bell.

The door was finally opened when she pressed the bell for the third time. Her bestfriend’s facial expression who was standing in the doorway confirmed her suspicion that her friend was not in a very cheerful mood.

“Hi,” Regina spread a wide smile and lifted one of her hands.

Ellen DeGeneres looked at her with furrowed eyebrows.

“Oh, it’s you,” she muttered and then stepping aside to let Regina in.

“Yep, it’s me,” Regina answered simply and made her way to the spacious and neat living room. She noticed that the heater was already turned on. Well, at least her friend wasn’t too busy to turn on the heater.

The sunshine was shining through the windows on the other side of the room, making the room felt a lot warmer, brighter, and more comfortable.

The living room was equipped with a large couch, two armchairs, and a small wooden table in the middle of it. The floor was coated with a thick carpet. The shelves that were mostly filled with many kind of books –mostly about music- were covering some parts of the walls.

Regina glanced at the black piano which stood on the other side of the room. The piano was opened and there were music sheets, that was filled with scratches here and there, were scattered around the piano; on top of the piano, on the small piano bench, on the small table beside the piano, and also on the floor around the piano.

“I thought you were still back in Atlanta,” Ellen’s voice was finally heard behind Regina’s back.

Regina did tell Ellen that she and her dance team, would participate on the dancing competition which would be held in Atlanta. Well, it was a good thing that her friend remembered that.

She turned her body, looking at her friend who finally walked into the living room.

“I came back to NY yesterday, in the evening,” Regina replied lightly.

Ellen raised both of her eyebrows. “Really?” she slightly shook her head and went back to sit in front of the piano.

Regina walked into the kitchen. “Is there any drinks in here? I’m thirsty as hell,” she opened the refrigerator’s door and yelled, “you really have nothing in here other than waters?”.

“I don’t know. Find it yourself,” Ellen yelled back half-heartedly.

Regina sighed and took a bottle of water and then slammed the refrigerator door. She walked back into the living room, where her friend was already facing the piano and placed her fingers on the fingerboards, playing some light tones.

“So, what makes you so busy right now that you can’t even take your time to answer a phone call from your lifetime bestfriend? The preparation for the next week’s concert?” she asked, and then took a gulp of the cold water directly from the bottle.

“Nope,” Ellen muttered. She didn’t look at Regina, frowning at her fingers on the piano instead. “I just want to finish this,” her fingers were moving swiftly back on the keys, and the beautiful chiming of the piano was fulfilling the apartment.

And then suddenly, she stopped and muttered to herself. “Ugh, this isn’t right,”.

Regina blinked her eyes. “What? Why? I think that’s perfectly beautiful,” she commented. “Your new song?”

Ellen didn’t give her any answer. She got back to frowning on the piano’s keys and seemed she had been immersing herself in her own world. Not a new thing to Regina who had been her friend since they were babies.

“Ellen?”

The one who was being called didn’t give any respond even though Regina stood exactly beside her.

“Ellen,” Regina called out once more, a bit louder this time.

Still no reaction.

“Ellen!”

This time Ellen lifted her head, staring at Regina with annoyance. “What?”

This time Regina glared at her friend. “You need to freaking get away from your piano for awhile,” she stated firmly. “You need to get out of this apartment. How long have you been in here? Since you were back from Europe last week? This isn’t healthy, you know?”

“I went out yesterday,” Ellen denied, but the tone on her voice was unsure.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, I went out to….. to…..,” she was quiet, and then looked up to Regina with her still-furrowing-eyebrows. “Why do I have to explain all of this to you, anyway?”.

Regina sighed. “Okay. We need to get out of here. Come on, we’ll grab lunch. It’s on me,”

“No, thanks. I’m not hungry,”

“So, what will you do? Just sit here and glaring angrily at your piano for the rest of the century?” Regina asked sarcastically. “Oh, come on, El. Let’s get out for a while. Maybe when you get back after you have a nice lunch and taking a stroll to see what’s the world out there look like you’ll have a great inspiration to finish your new song. Come on,” Regina started to persuade her friend seriously.

Ellen finally stood up and groaned. “Sometimes I forget that you can be so annoying,” she grumbled.

“Where did I put that damn key?” she said to herself, throwing her sight all over the room.

Regina lifted a pile of papers filled with some song notes on the coffee table and found the car key. “Come on, now,” she said, directly heading to the door.

Ellen grabbed her jacket and followed her friend.

“Anyway, you haven’t done what you have always wanted to do regarding seeing me today,” Ellen said to Regina after they exited the apartment. “You forgot?”

Regina looked at her friend confusedly. “What do you mean?”

Ellen smiled. “You came here to brag about yourself and your team for winning the dance competition in Atlanta, didn’t you?”

Regina glared at her friend with a fake hurt expression. “Just so you know, since you didn’t pick up any phone calls from your family, I came all the way here just to make sure that you’re still alive and sane. To remind you that you still have a caring mother, father, and friend who worried about you all the time,” she explained elaborately.

“Hmm..” Ellen hummed.

“And to show off about my team because we freaking won the competition!” Regina finally admitted and smiled widely. “You know me so well, don’t you?”

Ellen laughed. “Just as well as you know me,”

Ellen would never admit this to her friend, but she actually did feel a lot better after going out of her apartment. Her head didn’t feel so heavy anymore. Leaving her work for a second and strolling down the road, inhaling the fresh air might have its own advantages.

Actually, Ellen wasn’t a workaholic. At first, after wrapping up her concerts in Europe, she had a plan to have a rest for a while, really really relaxing before she got to start the next concerts in the US. But, on the flight back home to New York, she suddenly got an inspiration to make a new song. But she couldn’t finish this new song because the damned inspiration evaporated into thin air just like that when she stepped her feet back in New York City.

The fact that she couldn’t finish that song drove her crazy, because she was the kind of person who had to finish what she had started.

“So, where are we going to eat?” Ellen finally asked when they were already in the car.

“There’s a nice restaurant which is almost always full with people near my studio. You wanna give it a shot?” Regina asked.

“As far as I know, there are no nice restaurant near your studio,” Ellen frowned, trying to remember.

“Not in my usual studio, “ Regina corrected. “I mean near the studio where I teach right now. It’s close to the Greenwich Village. These couple of weeks I’ve been sparing my time to teach the hip-hop class for the teenagers,”.

Ellen stole a glance at her friend for a second, raising her eyebrows. “You? Teaching?” she asked doubtfully. Okay, her friend was a really, really good and talented dancer. She and her team had frequently won on various competitions, national and international levels. But Regina Collins was defiantly not the type of person who could teach other people.

Regina gave a wide smile in response. “Just sometimes. But it’s quite surprising, isn’t it? You didn’t think I can ever teach?”

“Why, of course not,” Ellen replied bluntly. “So what makes you do it?”

Regina sighed, but the smile was still hanging on her lips. “Because she asked me to do it,”.

“She? ‘She’ who?”

“Portia,”

“Portia who?”

“Portia de Rossi,”

Ellen frowned again, trying to recall that name, because the way Regina said that name, it was like everybody in the world should know who this Portia was. But nope, she was sure she didn’t know anybody with such name.

“She kinda asked me if I can come over just once in a while and teach for the hip-hop class at the studio she usually teaching in – she’s a dancer too, you know? A contemporary dancer. Very talented. I once saw her dance and I was just………. wonderstruck,” Regina was silenced for a second, as though she was drowning in the charm she just talked about.

And then she continued, “well, essentially she just asked me if I could teach the hip-hop class because they’re out of decent instructors. I mean, how could I ever say no to the chance of seeing her again, right?”

“Mmm,” Ellen hummed again in response while nid-nodding her head, signing that she understood. “So, you like this girl,”

“Yep,” Regina answered honestly. “Me and probably another dozens of boys and girls,”

“Ah, the popular girl,” Ellen commented.

“You can say that again,” Regina agreed and then thinly smiled. “She’s a sweet girl. And funny. And smart. And kind. And….. I don’t know, she makes everything feels good, you know what I mean?”

Oh god, my friend just turned into a mushy, sentimental person, Ellen sighed in her heart. “So, does she like you too?”

This time Regina let out a long sigh. “That’s the problem. I don’t know,”

Ellen stole another glance at her friend. “What do you mean you don’t know?”

“I really don’t know,” Regina said again. “Sometimes I think she likes me. You know, there are times when she looked at me, smiled at me, or when she talked to me, and I think she likes me. But then, I realized that she looks, smiles, and talks to everybody else the same way. So, yeah… I have no clue,”.

Ellen laughed loudly. “Regina, my friend, you’re clearly being toyed,” she said bluntly. “If she’s a popular girl, I can imagine already how good she is at controlling boys and girls who’s swarming around her. That’s including you, poor poor Regina,”.

Regina shook his head lightly. “No, she’s not that kind of girl. Not even close,” she denied quietly.

“Look, why don’t we stop by the studio for a second and I’ll introduce you to her. Then, you’ll know that your assumption is really really wrong,” Regina offered excitedly.

Ellen didn’t answer, only smiling and shrugging her shoulders.

“And if you’re really the expert on assessing women, maybe after seeing her and correcting your earlier judgment about her, you can give me a bit of clue on how do I approach her,” Regina added.  

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“Well, this is the place. Come on in,”

Ellen stopped her step, looking at the rocky three-floored building in front of herself. The signboard that was hanging above the door said ‘Small Steps Big Steps Dance Studio’. Ellen followed Regina who was already entering the building and passing by the concierge desk.

Regina said hi to the old woman behind the desk who smiled back with a big smile on her face.

“Is that the one whose name is Portia?” Ellen threw a joke drily.

“Ha-ha, funny,” Regina muttered flatly. “She’s usually upstairs, in the studio. Come on,”

Ellen chuckled a bit but following Regina ascending the stairs to the second floor. “You haven’t told me anything about how did you get to meet this Portia girl, by the way,”.

Before Regina could answer, suddenly there was a very loud audible gasp from up above them, followed by a loud noise. They both were simultaneously looking up. Everything happened in a blink of an eye that Ellen couldn’t even see what was going on.

Something fell from the top stairs, smashed her real hard, made her lost her balance and finally rolled down the stairs uncontrollably.

“Ellen!”

Ellen heard Regina shouting her name before she finally hit the ground and her head collided with something hard. Her sight was blackened for some time and the darkness was spiraling behind her shut eyes. She couldn’t talk. She could even barely breathe.

“Ellen! Oh god, Ellen, are you alright?”

She heard Regina’s worried voice but didn’t have the ability to talk back.

“Portia?” Regina’s voice was heard again. This time, there was even more worries in her tone. “Portia, are you okay?”

Ellen tried to open her eyes and finally realized what was it exactly suppressing her to the ground and made her chest felt extremely heavy.

The girl with long blonde hair who was on top of her body blinked her eyes, and then those blue-greyish eyes were widened in shock.

“Oh. OH! Oh, god! I am so sorry,” she tried to stand up as quick as she could manage.

“Portia, why…? What happened?” Regina asked while pulling up the girl’s arm to help her standing up.

The girl cringed when her right feet stepped on the ground.

“Ouch, ouch. Wait a second…”

“Is your feet sprained?” Regina asked worriedly.

Ellen looked at her friend in disbelief. Regina was taking care of the girl and not even glancing at her bestfriend who was lying helpless on the ground? She swore in her mind to have a payback at Regina for this later. Ellen tried to sit up. She used her hand to support her body but straightly attacked by an extraordinary pain.

“Is there any other injury?” Regina’s voice was heard again and that was surely not directed to Ellen. “Was your head knocked? I think we should get to the hospital,”

“No!” the girl rejected quickly. “Why do we have to go to the hospital? No. I’m fine,”

“But you better check yourself on the hospital. Just to make sure,” Regina said again.

“No, that won’t be necessary. I told you, I’m fine. It’s alright,”

“But….”

Ellen finally  managed to sit up -painstakingly- and cutting her friend, “I think we should go to the hospital,”.

The girl turned her head to Ellen’s direction. “Really. I really don’t need to go to the hospital. I a—“

“Not you,” Ellen interjected with a sharp voice through gritted teeth, holding back the pain which was rasping on her left wrist. “It’s me,”

This time Regina finally turned her head toward Ellen.

“Oh, god…”