Tu Es Mon Soleil - Chapter 3

Ellen walked down the pavement, back to her apartment building. She took a sip of her coffee with such relieve. She couldn't function well in the morning before she get a cup of coffee. And that was the reason that she almost gone mad this morning because she wasn't able to make herself a cup of coffee as she always did. 

Since yesterday's incident, she realized that there were so many simple things she couldn't do with only one hand, including brewing herself a cup of coffee. The only thing she succeeded on doing with one hand, was turning her own kitchen into a complete mess.

This was all that stupid, clumsy girl's fault.

Ellen cursed in her heart. No, she wasn't going to think about that girl right now. Not now. If she thought about that girl, the only thing she would want to do was to crush the damn plastic coffee cup she was still holding or to punch something. So, no, she wasn't going to think about that girl right now. Now she only wanted to enjoy her coffee, even though the coffee she bought from the cafe around the corner of the street couldn't be compared to her own-made coffee. But for now, this was the only choice she had. And she had to be satisfied with it. 

This coffee was enough. She didn't need any breakfast, even though she was starving. She also didn't need...

Ellen abruptly stopped the rushing voices in her head, as well as her steps in the middle of the stairs in front of her apartment building. 

I'll be damned. Ellen saw that particular girl standing in the doorway of her apartment. I am damned.

That girl.

Her nightmare.

Her darkness angel. 

And Ellen's mood went straight back to a cloudy one. 

That girl was standing with her back on Ellen, facing the intercom which was planted beside the door, pressing it several times. After waiting for a couple of seconds and not getting any answer, she let out a long sigh. Of course she hadn't realized that Ellen wasn't in her apartment because she was actually standing right behind her back.

Ellen furrowed her eyebrows while staring at her darkness angel who came to her place out of the blue. Why does she come here?

That girl was still standing facing the intercom. One of her hand was raised again, wanting to press the bell, but she stopped and let her hand fell back to her side. She sighed softly once again and turned around. She gasped in shock when she saw Ellen. 

Her eyes widened and she stood there like a statue in front of Ellen. Ellen didn't say a word. She only glared at the girl who had ruined her whole world and made her an invalid person in a blink of an eye, or to be exact, in a trip of a feet.

The girl opened her mouth but Ellen was faster. "Don't you dare fall again," she said sharply.

The girl looked at her in confusion. And then she looked down and realized what Ellen was talking about. She was standing on top of the stairs in front of the apartment building, while Ellen was ini the middle of the stairs. When she looked back at Ellen, her face was flushed. "No, I..."

"What are you doing here?" once again Ellen interjected, not showing an effort to be nice to her. You surely don't want to be nice to your darkness angel, right?

"I came here to apologize," the girl said quickly. She dared herself to look up at Ellen before she gulped and bit her lips. 

Ellen squinted her eyes a bit. Not changing her cold expression at all.

The girl moved her hand without any purpose and continued, "I haven't got the chance to say sorry at all. Yesterday, I mean. So today I decided to come up here and say sorry to you. I'm deeply sorry. Really, I didn't mean the incident at all,"

Ellen stayed quiet for 10 full seconds. And then, "Alright, you've said it. Now go," she said, ascending the stairs to the front door. She had the urge to get away from that girl and her dangerous position before she fell down on her again and broke both of her arms and her legs. 

"I-- I want to help," the girl said suddenly.

Ellen turned her head, still with the furrowed eyebrows. "What?"

The girl stood still on her place and looked straight at Ellen. "I want to help," she repeated herself, but softer this time. "After all, I'm the one who put you in this condition. So..."

"And how are you exactly planning on helping me?" Ellen asked flatly, not having even a bit of intention to receive any help from the girl. 

Her darkness angel hesitated for awhile, and then she said with a questioning tone, "I.... can be your left hand?"

"Can you play piano?"

"Uhm... No,"

"Then you being my left hand is useless," Ellen snapped, and then heading back to the door. She was stunned. Her eyes looked at the doorknob, and then she looked down to her hand which was holding the coffee cup, and then the other one which was fully bandaged. 

Shit. 

"You want me to hold the coffee while you grab the key?" 

Ellen turned her head to the girl annoyedly but didn't find any mocking expression on her face. Her darkness angel only looked at her hesitatedly. 

Without waiting for a respond, the girl grabbed Ellen's coffee and well, Ellen reluctantly had to give it up to her while she reached for her key on her pocket.

"You know, I also can water your plants, if you have some," the girl said.

Ellen pulled out her key and sticking it to the key hole.

"I can feed your dog... or your cat... if you have any dog or cat,"

She turned the key but soon realized another problem she faced. To open the door from the inside, she only need to turn the knob, and the door would open itself. But, to open it from the outside, she had to turned the key and the knob at the same time. So how on earth...

Suddenly the girl stretched out her hand, turning the door knob. "I don't even mind to do the dishes and other cleaning tasks," she continued. 

Ellen once again turned her head to the darkness angel who looked back at her full of hope. What's her name? Ellen asked herself. Did Regina ever mention it? Maybe. Not sure. She didn't know, nor did she care.

"So," the girl said again when she saw Ellen remained silent, "What do you think?"

Ellen inhaled and sighed loudly in exasperation. Then she pushed the door and went into the building without saying another word.

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Portia held the door with her hand right before the door was going to slam in front of her nose. She bit her lips and saw Ellen walked straight to the stairs. 

Last night, when Regina called her, the girl had already warned her that she wouldn't get any warm welcome from her friend. But even without a warning, she already figured that she wouldn't get any. If she could be honest, she really didn't want to see Ellen DeGeneres ever again. Why? 

First, because she was totally embarrassed. 

She had caused an injury on the wrist of a pianist that she had to cancel all of her concerts -- that might lead to another complicated problems. 

Second, because she was afraid. 

Ellen DeGeneres totally hated her and that was clear enough for her yesterday. Even today, the woman was still angry. And the stare of the woman also made Portia wanted to took some steps back, turned around, and ran away. 

But, you can't just walk away from someone's life after ruining her life -- even if it was completely an accident. Portia just couldn't do it. The guilt had been haunting her since yesterday and it just made her feel horrible.

So, here she was. Trying to apologize to Ellen DeGeneres and to do what she's supposed to do. Trying to take the responsibility. But, it's quite obvious that the woman didn't want to have anything to deal with her. 

Portia let out a depressed sigh. Was she better off go? Because having to face Ellen again was like a useless thing to do. It seemed like the more Ellen saw Portia, the more she hated her to the guts.

Yep, it seemed like the best way for Portia to get out of Ellen's life. Or at least, for now, until the woman calm down a bit. 

But.... Portia looked down to Ellen's coffee that she was still holding. Oh...

She took a deep breath to brace herself. She quickly tried to follow Ellen and walked into the building half-heartedly.

"Wait," Portia called out when she saw Ellen climbing up the stairs. "Your coffee..."

But Ellen didn't give any respond. Well, maybe because she couldn't hear Portia since her feature had already disappeared behind the wall. Portia sighed once more before trying to catch Ellen.

Why the hell that woman didn't take the elevator? Portia had no idea. But she breathed heavily when she finally reached the fourth floor. Portia stood at the top of stairs while leaning against the wall, trying to catch her breath.

"Why are you following me?"

Portia lifted her head when she heard the cold voice. Ellen DeGeneres was standing in front of the door that must be her room and looking at Portia with her signature furrowed eyebrows.

Portia held up her hand that was still holding the coffee. "This..."

Ellen tilted her head a bit, looking at the girl in front of her who looked like she was about to die because the lack of oxygen. "Taking a bit of stairs and you're already out of breath? I thought Regina mentioned to me that you're a dancer,"

Portia upholded her body. "Dancers are human too," she said flatly. 

Ellen put her hands on her hips and sighed in exasperation. "Why are you following me? What is it exactly do you want?"

Portia shut her eyes for a moment. She had to control herself. Inhale... exhale... calm yourself down... And then she opened her eyes and looked straight to Ellen DeGeneres.

"Alright, I'm going to say it to you once more," she said softly but firmly. "I came here to apologize to you and I actually wanted to take full responsibility for what I have done. Regina thinks that you need help and because she can't be with you today, and I thought, well, maybe I can replace her for a while,"

She paused for a moment to take her breath, and then she continued, "I already apologized to you, and I had also offered my help. But, it seemed like you don't want to accept any of it. Okay, that's fine. At least I've done what I'm supposed to do and now I don't have to feel guilty anymore,".

Ellen DeGeneres looked at the girl with both of her eyebrows raised, even though her expression was unreadable. 

Portia approached Ellen and handed the coffee to her. "Take this," she said shortly.

Ellen took the coffee but still not saying any words. 

"I hope you have a nice day," Portia mumbled monotonely and without any sign of sincerity in her voice, and then she headed for the elevator. She would not take the stairs to go down, for heaven's sake. 

"What's your name?"

Portia stopped walking and turned around to face Ellen suspiciously.

What now? This woman wanted to report me to the police?

"Portia," she said flatly. "Portia de Rossi"

"You're right," said Ellen.

Portia frowned. "Huh?"

"You're right," Ellen repeated herself. An insipid smile was tugging on her lips. "You are guilty. And now that I think about it, you do need to take full responsibility after you made me an invalid and ruined my whole life,".

"An invalid? You're not an invalid," Portia interjected. "Your hand will recover in a couple of months,"

"Nobody could guarantee that I'll be able to use my hand normally again," Ellen replied. "And this happened because of you,"

Portia gulped quietly. "I know, that's why..."

"Alright," Ellen cut her short without even noticing. "If you want to be my maid, I'll let you be my maid,".