Begin Again: Chapter 12

“Excuse me, M’am. It’s a package for you.” 

Ellen lifts her head from a staff’s report she’s assessing and sees Arnold, a new trainee in Ramses, standing under the threshold of her office’s door. She indicates the newbie to step in, so Arnold enters the room and puts down 3 pastel purple boxes on the desk. 

“What’s this?” Ellen asks, staring at the boxes that look kind of familiar to her. 

“Cakes, M’am.” 

Ellen lifts the lid on one of the boxes with the pen on her hand. “Yes, I can see that,” she mumbles dryly. “Who sent this?” 

“I don’t know,” Arnold says hesitantly. “The man who delivered this only said that it’s a special delivery for you.” 

Ellen peeks into the box and sees a dozen of tartlets of different toppings. Each one of them is served beautifully and colorfully, making anyone who sees it wants to eat it and not eat it at the same time. 

“Audrey?” Ellen mumbles quietly to herself. But the next second she knows it can’t be Audrey. If Audrey was the one who sent her these tartlets, that woman would’ve made damn sure that the person who receives them knows who is it from.

“Okay. Thanks, Arnold.” 

After Arnold left the room, Ellen closes the box again and that’s when she sees the name of the patisserie. 

A Piece of Cake. 

Ah, seems like it’s Portia de Rossi who sent her these. A simple smile appears on Ellen’s lips. And it also seems like she knows why. 

Last night, she was angry. Because after everything that she had done to show the girl that she’s changed, Portia still couldn’t forget the old Ellen. The girl is still full of suspicions, still judges her, and obviously still hasn’t forgiven her. 

But once Ellen got home, she finally cooled down. And she realized that she didn’t have the right to even hope that Portia would forgive her in such a short amount of time. She also had to admit that everything she had done for Portia is still far from enough to redeem all the shitty things she used to do to her. So, in all actuality, this morning she had decided to go see Portia and apologize for the way she acted last night. Turned out before she could make a move, Portia already made hers. 

Ellen was just about to grab her phone and call Portia when she heard a commotion from the kitchen. 

************

Ben isn’t the kind of person who pays a lot of attention to other people, especially when he’s busy baking a cake. But if that person keeps walking back and forth without any direction around him while sighing every now and then, Ben can’t possibly concentrate on his work. He finally lifts his face from the dough he’s whisking and stares at his boss. 

Portia is sitting in silence on one of the wooden chairs in the kitchen. After a moment of hesitation, Ben finally speaks up. “You ok, boss?”

Portia turns towards Ben and blinks. “Hm? Oh, yes. Yes,” she says quickly and smiles. 

Ben decides to take the answer as it is and doesn’t ask anything further. 

“Hey, Ben?”

“Yes?”

“Do you know who ends up delivering the package to the Ramses?”

Ben ponders for a while. “Mike, if I’m not mistaken.” 

“Oh, I see,” Portia mumbles, nodding her head, then continues, “Is he back yet?”

“I think so. I heard Seb asked him to deliver another package.” 

“Well, so she should’ve received it by now,” Portia mumbles to herself. She frowns and bites her lip, then stares at the phone on her hand. “But, then why…” 

“What, boss?”

Portia sighs again. “Nothing.” 

Suddenly Kali appears on the door. “Boss, someone’s looking for you.”

Portia jolts up. “Who?” she asks eagerly. 

Kali shrugs. “I don’t know her.”

The rush of excitement disappears from Portia’s face, so Ben guesses that it’s not the answer that his boss is expecting. But since it’s none of his business, he goes back to whisking the flour and the eggs. 

********

“I don’t know her.” 

Portia can almost physically feel the disappointment. It means that whoever it is, it’s not Ellen DeGeneres, because Kali already knows her and had met her before. 

Is that woman still mad? Is that why she doesn’t give Portia any reaction even after receiving the tartlets? But come to think of it, how could Ellen know that Portia’s the one who sent it to her when she didn’t even put her name on the package?

Portia groans internally, regretting her own stupidity while she walks reluctantly to the front of the shop that’s pretty crowded by now. 

“Who’s looking for me, Kali?” she asks. 

“I am,” someone behind Portia answers the question before Kali does. 

Portia turns around and lets out a quiet gasp. Even after 4 years have passed and even though Michael already told her that this woman is finally back in New York, Portia isn’t completely prepared to see Francesca in front of her, as it turned out. 

“You haven’t forgotten me, have you, Portia?” Francesca asks with a small smile on her lips. 

Even after all this time….. that voice still makes Portia’s heart skips a beat. Resisting the heavy urge to fling herself towards that woman’s arms, Portia takes a deep breath and flashes a big smile. “Why, hello, Francesca,” she says. She’s so proud of herself for sounding so calm and for being able to stand straight. “Long time no see.”  

Francesca raises her eyebrows. “You don’t seem to be so surprised to see me here,” she says, still with the perfect smile on her lips. “I have to admit that I’m a bit disappointed. I was expecting a much warmer welcome.” 

Portia laughs and shrugs. “Michael already told me.”

“Oh, I see,” Francesca nods her head. “Well, anyway, are you free? I’d like to take you to lunch.”

“Sure,” Portia quickly says, “One sec. Let me get my coat and my purse.” 

************

The cab that they’re riding is making its way along Columbus Avenue when Portia realizes that they’re not too far from the Ramses. She bites her finger, ponders for a while, then says to Francesca who’s sitting next to her, “Hey, do you mind if we stop by a place for a minute?” 

“Of course not,” she responds. “Where?”

Portia doesn’t answer. She leans over towards the driver and mentions Ramses’ address to him. 

“Wait here. I’ll only be a minute,” Portia says to Francesca a few minutes after, when the cab stops not too far from Ramses. Without waiting for Francesca’s reply, Portia jumps out of the cab. 

Ramses under broad daylight looks luxurious and classy. Portia squints her eyes staring at the restaurant, annoyed to remember that she never got the chance to dine there. After standing in front of the front doors for a second, Portia makes up her mind and pushes the heavy glass door. 

A maître d’ looks up to Portia and smiles politely. “Good afternoon, M’am. Under what name is your reservation?” she asks with a thick foreign accent. Perhaps French, Portia guesses in her head. 

“Oh, no,” Portia responds. “I didn’t…. I mean… I don’t…” Oh, for gods’ sake. Since when does she stutter like this? “Is Ellen DeGeneres here?” 

“Miss DeGeneres?” the maître d’ repeats. “Please wait a moment, M’am. May I have your name?” 

“Portia,” she answers. And then just to sound more formal, she adds, “Portia de Rossi from A Piece of Cake.” 

Portia waits while the maître d’ talks to someone on the phone. Not too long after, a man with a funny face and dark brown hair comes up to her with a friendly smile. “Good afternoon, Miss de Rossi. I’m Andy, the manager here. I understand that you’re here to see Miss DeGeneres?” he greets fluently. 

Portia frowns. Why is the manager of the restaurant the one who shows up when she wants to see Ellen? Does Ellen not want to see her? 

“Yes,” Portia says quickly. “Is she here at the moment?” 

“Unfortunately, she’s not. But, perhaps, I can be of any help to you?” the manager stares at Portia with veiled curiosity. “Or maybe you want to leave her a message?” 

Great. Now what? Portia asks to herself, biting her lip. Actually, she hasn’t t really thought of what she wanted to say had Ellen been here. What was I thinking? Portia scorns herself. 

“Well, that’s okay,” Portia finally says. She forces a simple smile. “I….. just wanted to know if she already received the package from our shop. It was delivered this morning. Not a big deal, really.” 

“Ah, the tartlets?” Andy asks suddenly. The look on his eyes changes and his smile widens even though Portia has no idea as to why. “Yes. Yes, she received it earlier today.” 

“Oh…. okay,” is the only thing Portia manages to come up with. Well, Ellen already received it. If so…. 

“But she hasn’t got the time to actually eat it since there was a….” Andy hesitates. “Well, a little accident in the kitchen and she went to the hospital right away.” 

Portia’s eyes widen in shock. “She….?” 

“Oh, no! Not her,” Andy interrupts quickly. “It was one of our chefs. But Ellen was the one who took him to the hospital.” 

“Oh, I see,” Portia mumbles once again. 

“Yes. It’s a pity I don’t know what time she’ll be back.” 

“That’s alright,” Portia says. “I understand that she must be very tied up with this incident going on. I hope everything goes well and the chef is okay.” 

“Thank you. I’m sure it’s nothing fatal. Do you still want to leave a message for Ellen? I can—“

“No,” Portia jumps in. She herself is surprised to hear her own booming voice. She clears her throat and tries again, “I mean, you don’t have to tell her that I came here. I…. I can call her later today.” 

“Very well, Miss,” Andy smiles again. 

“Well, uhm….” Portia looks down to her feet awkwardly. “I guess I better be going now. Thanks for your help.”

“My pleasure, Miss de Rossi.” 

And Portia rushes the hell out of that place. 

*********

Andy Lassner chuckles quietly watching Portia de Rossi almost hit the huge glass door on her way out of the restaurant. He guesses that this girl is the one Ellen has been talking about lately. The girl that Betty DeGeneres has picked out for Ellen. Ellen once said that the girl hasn’t forgiven her yet for what she had done to her during high school. But considering the fact that she sent dozens of tartlets to Ellen and her coming to the restaurant, seems like Portia de Rossi has forgiven Ellen alright, whether the girl realizes that or not. 

Portia asked Andy not to tell Ellen about her visit to the Ramses. Well, Andy always considers himself to be one of Ellen’s best-est friends, so rest assured that he’s going to tell Ellen no matter what. Because that’s what friends are for. 

*************

“Done?” Francesca asks when Portia gets back into the cab. 

She nods. “Yes. Let’s grab lunch now.” 

Portia doesn’t bother to explain what she was doing at the Ramses, but it seems that Francesca notices Portia’s change of mood.

“Any good news?” she asks.

“Hm?” Portia turns. “What good news?”

Francesca shrugs. “I don’t know. You look more cheerful. I just thought you heard some sort of a good news.” 

Portia only blinks. “Oh, no,” she says lightly but doesn’t give out any more explanation. 

“So, who did you see?” Francesca tries her luck again, not giving up just yet. 

“The person I wanted to see wasn’t in,” Portia answers. “And you don’t know her anyway.” 

“I know a lot of people in New York.” 

Portia smiles. “That’s before you disappeared 4 years ago,” she says calmly. “You must realize that quite lots of things have changed during the last 4 years. The people you claim to know might have forgotten you by now.”

Francesca stares at Portia who’s humming something next to her. She lets Portia’s words sink in. She used to like Portia very much. Perhaps she loved her. But, as it turned out, distance can really pull people apart. To be honest, during the last 4 years that she had spent in South Africa, the thought of Portia rarely ever crossed her mind. She was too busy working, too busy adapting to a new life, that she didn’t have the chance to think about home or about people she had left behind. 

But now…. Now that she finally sees Portia again, that warm feeling is back once more. And that particular feeling is what pushes Francesca to ask, “Are you one of them, Portia?”

Portia looks at her with tilted head. “What do you mean?” 

“Have you forgotten me?” Francesca asks, looking straight into Portia’s eyes. “Or are you still waiting for me?”