Tu Es Mon Soleil - Chapter 3

Ellen walked down the pavement, back to her apartment building. She took a sip of her coffee with such relieve. She couldn't function well in the morning before she get a cup of coffee. And that was the reason that she almost gone mad this morning because she wasn't able to make herself a cup of coffee as she always did. 

Since yesterday's incident, she realized that there were so many simple things she couldn't do with only one hand, including brewing herself a cup of coffee. The only thing she succeeded on doing with one hand, was turning her own kitchen into a complete mess.

This was all that stupid, clumsy girl's fault.

Ellen cursed in her heart. No, she wasn't going to think about that girl right now. Not now. If she thought about that girl, the only thing she would want to do was to crush the damn plastic coffee cup she was still holding or to punch something. So, no, she wasn't going to think about that girl right now. Now she only wanted to enjoy her coffee, even though the coffee she bought from the cafe around the corner of the street couldn't be compared to her own-made coffee. But for now, this was the only choice she had. And she had to be satisfied with it. 

This coffee was enough. She didn't need any breakfast, even though she was starving. She also didn't need...

Ellen abruptly stopped the rushing voices in her head, as well as her steps in the middle of the stairs in front of her apartment building. 

I'll be damned. Ellen saw that particular girl standing in the doorway of her apartment. I am damned.

That girl.

Her nightmare.

Her darkness angel. 

And Ellen's mood went straight back to a cloudy one. 

That girl was standing with her back on Ellen, facing the intercom which was planted beside the door, pressing it several times. After waiting for a couple of seconds and not getting any answer, she let out a long sigh. Of course she hadn't realized that Ellen wasn't in her apartment because she was actually standing right behind her back.

Ellen furrowed her eyebrows while staring at her darkness angel who came to her place out of the blue. Why does she come here?

That girl was still standing facing the intercom. One of her hand was raised again, wanting to press the bell, but she stopped and let her hand fell back to her side. She sighed softly once again and turned around. She gasped in shock when she saw Ellen. 

Her eyes widened and she stood there like a statue in front of Ellen. Ellen didn't say a word. She only glared at the girl who had ruined her whole world and made her an invalid person in a blink of an eye, or to be exact, in a trip of a feet.

The girl opened her mouth but Ellen was faster. "Don't you dare fall again," she said sharply.

The girl looked at her in confusion. And then she looked down and realized what Ellen was talking about. She was standing on top of the stairs in front of the apartment building, while Ellen was ini the middle of the stairs. When she looked back at Ellen, her face was flushed. "No, I..."

"What are you doing here?" once again Ellen interjected, not showing an effort to be nice to her. You surely don't want to be nice to your darkness angel, right?

"I came here to apologize," the girl said quickly. She dared herself to look up at Ellen before she gulped and bit her lips. 

Ellen squinted her eyes a bit. Not changing her cold expression at all.

The girl moved her hand without any purpose and continued, "I haven't got the chance to say sorry at all. Yesterday, I mean. So today I decided to come up here and say sorry to you. I'm deeply sorry. Really, I didn't mean the incident at all,"

Ellen stayed quiet for 10 full seconds. And then, "Alright, you've said it. Now go," she said, ascending the stairs to the front door. She had the urge to get away from that girl and her dangerous position before she fell down on her again and broke both of her arms and her legs. 

"I-- I want to help," the girl said suddenly.

Ellen turned her head, still with the furrowed eyebrows. "What?"

The girl stood still on her place and looked straight at Ellen. "I want to help," she repeated herself, but softer this time. "After all, I'm the one who put you in this condition. So..."

"And how are you exactly planning on helping me?" Ellen asked flatly, not having even a bit of intention to receive any help from the girl. 

Her darkness angel hesitated for awhile, and then she said with a questioning tone, "I.... can be your left hand?"

"Can you play piano?"

"Uhm... No,"

"Then you being my left hand is useless," Ellen snapped, and then heading back to the door. She was stunned. Her eyes looked at the doorknob, and then she looked down to her hand which was holding the coffee cup, and then the other one which was fully bandaged. 

Shit. 

"You want me to hold the coffee while you grab the key?" 

Ellen turned her head to the girl annoyedly but didn't find any mocking expression on her face. Her darkness angel only looked at her hesitatedly. 

Without waiting for a respond, the girl grabbed Ellen's coffee and well, Ellen reluctantly had to give it up to her while she reached for her key on her pocket.

"You know, I also can water your plants, if you have some," the girl said.

Ellen pulled out her key and sticking it to the key hole.

"I can feed your dog... or your cat... if you have any dog or cat,"

She turned the key but soon realized another problem she faced. To open the door from the inside, she only need to turn the knob, and the door would open itself. But, to open it from the outside, she had to turned the key and the knob at the same time. So how on earth...

Suddenly the girl stretched out her hand, turning the door knob. "I don't even mind to do the dishes and other cleaning tasks," she continued. 

Ellen once again turned her head to the darkness angel who looked back at her full of hope. What's her name? Ellen asked herself. Did Regina ever mention it? Maybe. Not sure. She didn't know, nor did she care.

"So," the girl said again when she saw Ellen remained silent, "What do you think?"

Ellen inhaled and sighed loudly in exasperation. Then she pushed the door and went into the building without saying another word.

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Portia held the door with her hand right before the door was going to slam in front of her nose. She bit her lips and saw Ellen walked straight to the stairs. 

Last night, when Regina called her, the girl had already warned her that she wouldn't get any warm welcome from her friend. But even without a warning, she already figured that she wouldn't get any. If she could be honest, she really didn't want to see Ellen DeGeneres ever again. Why? 

First, because she was totally embarrassed. 

She had caused an injury on the wrist of a pianist that she had to cancel all of her concerts -- that might lead to another complicated problems. 

Second, because she was afraid. 

Ellen DeGeneres totally hated her and that was clear enough for her yesterday. Even today, the woman was still angry. And the stare of the woman also made Portia wanted to took some steps back, turned around, and ran away. 

But, you can't just walk away from someone's life after ruining her life -- even if it was completely an accident. Portia just couldn't do it. The guilt had been haunting her since yesterday and it just made her feel horrible.

So, here she was. Trying to apologize to Ellen DeGeneres and to do what she's supposed to do. Trying to take the responsibility. But, it's quite obvious that the woman didn't want to have anything to deal with her. 

Portia let out a depressed sigh. Was she better off go? Because having to face Ellen again was like a useless thing to do. It seemed like the more Ellen saw Portia, the more she hated her to the guts.

Yep, it seemed like the best way for Portia to get out of Ellen's life. Or at least, for now, until the woman calm down a bit. 

But.... Portia looked down to Ellen's coffee that she was still holding. Oh...

She took a deep breath to brace herself. She quickly tried to follow Ellen and walked into the building half-heartedly.

"Wait," Portia called out when she saw Ellen climbing up the stairs. "Your coffee..."

But Ellen didn't give any respond. Well, maybe because she couldn't hear Portia since her feature had already disappeared behind the wall. Portia sighed once more before trying to catch Ellen.

Why the hell that woman didn't take the elevator? Portia had no idea. But she breathed heavily when she finally reached the fourth floor. Portia stood at the top of stairs while leaning against the wall, trying to catch her breath.

"Why are you following me?"

Portia lifted her head when she heard the cold voice. Ellen DeGeneres was standing in front of the door that must be her room and looking at Portia with her signature furrowed eyebrows.

Portia held up her hand that was still holding the coffee. "This..."

Ellen tilted her head a bit, looking at the girl in front of her who looked like she was about to die because the lack of oxygen. "Taking a bit of stairs and you're already out of breath? I thought Regina mentioned to me that you're a dancer,"

Portia upholded her body. "Dancers are human too," she said flatly. 

Ellen put her hands on her hips and sighed in exasperation. "Why are you following me? What is it exactly do you want?"

Portia shut her eyes for a moment. She had to control herself. Inhale... exhale... calm yourself down... And then she opened her eyes and looked straight to Ellen DeGeneres.

"Alright, I'm going to say it to you once more," she said softly but firmly. "I came here to apologize to you and I actually wanted to take full responsibility for what I have done. Regina thinks that you need help and because she can't be with you today, and I thought, well, maybe I can replace her for a while,"

She paused for a moment to take her breath, and then she continued, "I already apologized to you, and I had also offered my help. But, it seemed like you don't want to accept any of it. Okay, that's fine. At least I've done what I'm supposed to do and now I don't have to feel guilty anymore,".

Ellen DeGeneres looked at the girl with both of her eyebrows raised, even though her expression was unreadable. 

Portia approached Ellen and handed the coffee to her. "Take this," she said shortly.

Ellen took the coffee but still not saying any words. 

"I hope you have a nice day," Portia mumbled monotonely and without any sign of sincerity in her voice, and then she headed for the elevator. She would not take the stairs to go down, for heaven's sake. 

"What's your name?"

Portia stopped walking and turned around to face Ellen suspiciously.

What now? This woman wanted to report me to the police?

"Portia," she said flatly. "Portia de Rossi"

"You're right," said Ellen.

Portia frowned. "Huh?"

"You're right," Ellen repeated herself. An insipid smile was tugging on her lips. "You are guilty. And now that I think about it, you do need to take full responsibility after you made me an invalid and ruined my whole life,".

"An invalid? You're not an invalid," Portia interjected. "Your hand will recover in a couple of months,"

"Nobody could guarantee that I'll be able to use my hand normally again," Ellen replied. "And this happened because of you,"

Portia gulped quietly. "I know, that's why..."

"Alright," Ellen cut her short without even noticing. "If you want to be my maid, I'll let you be my maid,".

Tu Es Mon Soleil - Chapter 2

“WHAT?! Your friend is a pianist?!” Portia de Rossi widened her eyes at Regina who sat next to her. “Pianist?”

Regina looked back at her and gave a thin smile, but Portia could clearly see the worried expression on Regina’s face. “Yep. And she’s pretty famous, actually,”

Portia could feel her whole body went cold. “I just broke a wrist of a famous pianist,” she muttered quietly in horror. And then she shut her eyes and covered her face with both hands. “Oh my god…”

“Hey, it’s not your fault,” Regina said while putting her hand on Portia’s shoulder, shaking it softly trying to comfort her. “You didn’t purposely trip over the carpet and throw yourself from the top of the stairs to hurt Ellen anyway,”

Portia took a deep breath and blew it away slowly. She and Regina were sitting on the bench row in one of the hospital’s aisles, waiting for Ellen DeGeneres who was still being examined in the doctor room. Magically, Portia herself wasn’t hurt at all after flying off of the stairs. Well, only a little bruise on her thigh, and the sprained ankle was completely healed by now.

While Ellen…….. They didn’t know yet how bad the injury she had, but by seeing how the pianist shut her eyes and clenched her jaw all the way to the hospital, Portia had already prepared herself for the worst scenario. But, she was really clueless on what she had to do right now. What should you do if you broke the wrist of a famous pianist?

Well… Of course the first thing you had to do was apologizing. Portia hadn’t got the chance to do it  earlier. Yes, she should apologize. And then? Other than apologizing, what else should you do if you broke the wrist of a famous pianist? Covering all of the treatment fees?

What if Ellen DeGeneres could never, ever play a piano again?

That thought suddenly came up to Portia’s mind and Portia could feel her body tensed up. Oh god, please don’t let it happen. She would feel so damn guilty if it ever happened.

Portia took another deep breath and the smell of a hospital that she profoundly hated immediately weighing her chest. Her ears were listening to the sounds around her. The sound of the doctors and the nurses talking about their patients with the words that general people wouldn’t understand, the monotone voice that was heard from the speaker, the ringing phones, the sound of the beds that were being rolled down the aisle in a rush, the dinging sound the elevator made. All of the sounds were making Portia felt more and more stressed out. She wanted to get out of here immediately, she wanted to…

Suddenly Regina jumped up from her seat. Portia looked up and saw Ellen DeGeneres exited the doctor room with an old white-coated man following beside her. Seemed like the doctor was explaining something and Ellen was listening while nid-nodding her head grimly.

Portia’s eyes went straight to Ellen’s hands. Her left hand was fully bandaged and hanging stiffly right in front of her chest.

So….. I positively broke her wrist?

“How’s your wrist? What did the doctor say?” Regina asked when the doctor was done and Ellen finally reached them.

Portia practically stood up slowly. Ellen’s eyes were turning its direction toward her straight away. Portia felt like her heart stopped beating for a while and her breath was hitched. Those icy blue eyes were glaring at her coldly, making Portia wished that the earth could just swallow her at the very second. If glares could kill, it’s no doubt that Portia would already be dead by now. 

And then the death glare turned back to Regina. “Why is she still here?” Ellen asked in a low tone of voice.

Portia bit her lips and glanced at Regina. She knew for sure who Ellen meant by ‘she’. And so was Regina.

“Ellen, come on. Portia didn’t deliberately hurt you. You know that,” Regina said, trying to calm her friend down.

Ellen DeGeneres didn’t say anything. Without even looking at Portia, she walked past her friend with big steps.

“Ellen!” Regina called out. “Ellen!”

Portia stood there, looking at Ellen’s back which walked away down the aisle with a mixed feeling. Confused. Worried. Terrified.

Regina sighed heavily and turned her head to look at Portia while still smiling. “Let’s go,” she said.

Portia looked at Regina, and then Ellen’s back which was still walking away, and then back at Regina. “Uhm.. I don’t think-“

“Oh, come on,” Regina interjected while grabbing Portia’s elbow and dragged her to catch Ellen up at the end of the aisle, waiting for the elevator.

Once the elevator doors were opened and they got into it, Portia went straight to the corner. Ellen still not saying a word. Regina switched her eyes between Portia and Ellen and let out a soft sigh.

“So, what did the doctor say?” Regina tried to ask Ellen once more.

Portia dared herself to glance at Ellen. She couldn’t really see her from the place she was standing on, but from what she could see, Ellen’s face was still frightening. After a while, Ellen’s low voice was finally heard, “I’m not allowed to move my hand. And my hand will stay bandaged like this for the next 2 months. After that, we will find out if there are any permanent injuries, and if I would be able to move my hand like I used to,”.

“Two months?” Regina asked in surprise. She looked at her friend. “That means that your concert next week….”

“Mm,”

Concert? Next week? What concert? Portia’s eyes went from Ellen to Regina, and then back at Ellen. What are they talking about? Is it……

“Have to be cancelled,”

Right after Ellen said that, the elevator dinged and the doors were opened. Ellen and Regina stepped out of the elevator, but Portia was froze for a second before gaining her composure back and followed them hurriedly.

So, Ellen DeGeneres should’ve held a concert next week? And now she had to cancel the concert because her hand was injured? Portia didn’t know much about holding a concert, but cancelling a show wasn’t as easy as flipping back a hand. There would be a compensatory problem and all….. wouldn’t it?

Oh god, this problem was getting more and more difficult to handle.

After they got into the car – with Regina driving, Ellen rode shotgun, and Portia sat on the slightly narrow backseat – and the car was leaving the hospital, Portia tried to calm herself down and collected all the guts that was left. She shut her eyes, inhaling some air quietly, and just was about to open her mouth to apologize when Ellen pulled out her phone from her jeans’ pocket, pressing one of the buttons, and placed the phone on her ear.

Portia held back herself and shut her mouth closed again.

“Who are you calling?” Regina asked.

“Andy,”

“Your manager?”

“Mm,” and then, “Andy? It’s me. I need you to cancel the next week’s concerts,”

Portia bit her lips again.

“No, not just the one in New York. All of them… Yes, all… Chicago, L.A., Boston,…. Yes, Andy, all of them. Cancel all of my schedules until the end of the year,”

Portia started to bit her nails by now. So, it’s not just one concert? Could this be worse?

“I’ll explain it to you tomorrow,” said Ellen. “Now, tell me what can you do for all of these cancellations?”

Portia didn’t quite understand what she talked about after that. Ellen just mostly listening to the phone, asking a couple of questions sometimes, and muttered with her low voice. Portia watched the road from the window but wasn’t really looking at something in particular. The view outside the car was just passing by like a blur picture.

Today wasn’t a good day for Portia, and not just because the problem she now had to deal with Ellen DeGeneres. Her day had already felt wrong from the moment she opened both of her eyes this morning. And from that moment on, everything just got worse and worse.

The car finally entering the area of Reverside Drive. Not long after, the car slowed down and pulled up in front of a four-storey building. Ellen finally got off of her phone and looked at Regina. “I need to meet Andy tomorrow morning. Can you take me there?” she slightly moved her left hand which was still hanging in front of her chest. “I can’t drive,”

“I’m sorry, I can’t tomorrow,” Regina answered with a genuine sorry voice. “There’s a dancing charity for the poor children tomorrow morning,”

“I can,” those two words escaped her mouth before her brain could even process it.

The 2 women that sat in the front seats immediately looked back at her. Well, actually Regina did. Ellen just slightly tilted her head, stole a glance at Portia for a split second, and then looked straight back to the front.

“I….” Portia muttered, not really know what to do. “I can…. I mean….”

Ellen DeGeneres exhaled a long breath, and then mumbled, “no, thanks,”. The words that followed were mostly directed to Regina, “I’ll just have Andy to come over here tomorrow,”.

Portia opened her mouth to say something but didn’t get the chance because Ellen had already opened the door and jumped out of the car.

Regina threw a comforting smile at Portia, and then quickly opened her own door to follow her friend who was already ascending the rocky stairs.

Portia came out of the car as well, but she only stood like a statue beside the car. She saw Regina held Ellen’s shoulder and told her something. She couldn’t hear what Regina was telling to Ellen, but Ellen just listened to her friend without saying a single word. Ellen squinted her eyes while still looking at Regina, and then turned her head to Portia.

Portia gulped when she saw those eyes were glaring at her. She subconsciously took a step back and her back practically attached to the car. And then Ellen looked back at Regina, said something short, and then walked into the building. The front door was finally closed behind Ellen’s back and at that moment, Portia finally released the breath that she had unknowingly been holding.

Regina jogged down the stairs and went toward Portia. “Don’t worry. Ellen didn’t blame you,” Regina said with a small smile.

Portia looked at Regina with her raising eyebrows. “You sure? Just so you know, she looks so frightening to me,”

Regina didn’t answer. She just smiled once more and said, “Come on, I’ll take you back to the Small Steps,”.

“That’s not necessary. You should go and keep your friend in company,” Portia stated firmly. Looking at Regina that seemed to hesitate and ready to argue, Portia quickly forced a smile and said, “I’ll call you later, okay?”

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Portia jogged up the stairs and entered the Small Steps Big Steps Dance Studio. Agnes who was sitting behind the concierge desk lifted her head. As fast as she saw who’s coming, the old lady gasped and jumped up from her seat. The accident on the stairs earlier made quite a scene at the studio, and Agnes just wanted to make sure that Portia didn’t have any severe injuries whatsoever.

Without giving a detail explanation about Ellen DeGeneres, Portia assured Agnes that she’s fine and was able to teach for the next class without any problem. Agnes nodded gratefully and swore to burn the damned old carpet that had made Portia tripped over at the first place.

After that, Portia went straight to the locker room to prepare herself. The clock that was hung on the wall above the lockers showed that her class would start in half an hour.

Portia had been the instructor of contemporary dance in Small Steps Big Steps Dance Studio for around the last one year. She loved her job. At least, with this job she was still able to dance. Even though being an instructor in a small dance studio wasn’t the same thing with dancing for the huge show in Broadway, at least she was still able to dance. That’s what she kept on saying to herself day by day.

At least she was still able to dance.

Dancing was her life. Dancing was her soul. She didn’t have any other skill other than dancing. She couldn’t bear the image of not being able to dance anymore. She wouldn’t know what to do.

Portia was well aware that she wasn’t a bright girl. Her score at school used to be just ordinary, not remarkable. She didn’t stand out in any particular subject. She was an average little girl. Not too pretty, not too smart. But also not ugly, and not dumb.

It’s a different thing with her parents. Her dad was a math professor in one of the top universities and her mom was an accountant. People said, that the fruit won’t fall too far from the tree itself. But, that’s where the problem was. Portia wasn’t their biological child. She was adopted by the couple since she was a baby. Her parents were honest about this since she was a child.

However, her parents loved her with all of their hearts, they never even went a second with a thought that Portia wasn’t their biological child. They had always supported Portia. Portia’s life had never been lack of love and compassion.

But sometimes, when she was a little girl – just sometimes, and this happened really, really rarely – she wanted to know who herself really was.

She knew she was adopted from one of the orphanages in the US. But, she didn’t know who her biological parents were, her background, or whether or not her parents were a US citizen.

She opened the locker door and pulled out her bag. Then she sat on the long bench in the middle of the room and took a deep breath.

She never really wanted to meet her biological parents, though. What for? There’d be no good in doing so.

She took a small plastic tube from her bag, opened it, took a pill from the tube and straightly put it inside her mouth.

“Portia?”

Portia jolted and looked at the direction of the voice. “Oh, Jen,” she mumbled when she saw her instructing partner.

Jennifer opened the door of the locker beside Portia’s. She moved her chin, motioning to the small tube on Portia’s hand. “You’re not feeling well?” she asked.

Portia threw the tube back inside her bag and sighed. “Headache,” she said.

“Because of the incident on the stairs earlier?”

“How do you know? You weren’t there, were you?” Portia asked back.

Jen let out a small laugh. “Agnes told me right when I stepped into this building after lunch. She said Regina was also with her sister here and they were the one who took you to the hospital,”

Portia furrowed when she remembered of what happened to Ellen DeGeneres. “She’s not her sister, she’s her friend. Although as far as I know they had been friends since forever,” she mumbled. “And it’s not me who was injured, it’s her,”

“Really? But she’s okay, isn’t she?”

Portia sighed heavily. “Her hand was strained quite badly and it has to be bandaged for the next two months,”

“Oh? But did the doctor say anything else? Was the injury serious?”

Portia shrugged, feeling weighed once again. “No. I don’t know,”

“If it was serious, the doctor would’ve said so. Maybe it was just a bit sprained. No big deal,” Jennifer said, trying to comfort her friend.

Portia looked at her friend and smiled a bit. “I hope so,”

Jennifer took off her jacket and hung it up on her locker. “Anyway, I’m glad you’re okay, but I’d give anything I have to look at Regina’s expression when she saw you fell from the stairs,” she said. “She must’ve panicked,”

Portia stood up and put her bag in into her locker. “You think so? Why?”

Jennifer turned her head to look at Portia with raising eyebrows. “Why? Portia, she’s absolutely head over heels for you. I bet she agreed on teaching here, also because you’re the one who asked her. Don’t tell me you didn’t notice,”.

Oh, yeah. Of course Portia noticed. But she just smiled and said, “Regina is nice,”.

Jen closed her locker door and leaned her shoulder against it, looking at Portia. “She IS nice. Then what are you waiting for?”

Portia looked back at her friend. “What?”

“She’s nice, fun to be with, and I think she’s kinda hot – even though I’m straight as a pole,” Jennifer brought her hands up, giving a gesture like she was swearing. “So, what are you waiting for? You don’t like her?”

“I do,” Portia denied.

“But not in that way,”

Portia closed her locker and smiled to her friend. “Let’s go. The class will start anytime soon,”

“Ugh… Changing the subject,” Jennifer grumbled and then following Portia exited the locker room.

Tu Es Mon Soleil - Chapter 1

Never seek to tell thy love,

Love that never told can be;

For the gentle wind doth move

Silently, invisibly

I told my love, I told my love,

I told her all my heart,

Trembling, cold, in ghastly fears.

Ah! She did depart!

Soon after she was gone from me

A traveler came by,

Silently, invisibly

He took her with a sigh

Love’s Secret, William Blake (1757-1827)

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Regina Collins slightly whistled while watching her surroundings before quickly crossing the street to one of the four-storey buildings which made their row, in one of the residential areas in Reverside Drive. New York City’s sky looked undeniably bright and lovely, as bright and lovely as her mood today. A beautiful day always made everybody happy, didn’t it?

Well, actually, not really. Not everybody. She’s sure there was somebody who was completely unaware that the leaves had already changed their colors to yellow, brown, and reddish. Unaware and not giving a single damn.

That person, was her particular bestfriend.

Regina was certain that Ellen DeGeneres was too busy to realize anything that happened in her surrounding lately. She had just wrapped up her piano concert in Europe, and next week would be the beginning of her US’ concerts.

And as usual, if Ellen was busy, she rarely got the will to answer any phone calls or sparing her precious time to reply any texts. And that’s why Regina decided to just see her bestfriend directly. At least to make sure that she was still alive. And also to make sure that her bestfriend wasn’t making the bright sky of New York City turned into a dark and gloomy one, as dark and gloomy as her mood.

Oh, that sounded exaggerated, but you’ll see that Ellen literally had the ability to make everybody around her not enjoying the beautiful day if she herself wasn’t in the mood of enjoying a beautiful day.

Regina jogged a bit while climbing some stairs in front of the building. She was just about to press the apartment’s intercom bell on the 4^th floor when the door opened up and a woman and a child stepped out of the building. Regina’s hand held the door opened while the mother and the child passed by.

She stepped into the building and let the front door lock itself up. A minute later, she was already standing in front of a white-painted door on the 4^th floor. Her hand went to press the bell.

The door was finally opened when she pressed the bell for the third time. Her bestfriend’s facial expression who was standing in the doorway confirmed her suspicion that her friend was not in a very cheerful mood.

“Hi,” Regina spread a wide smile and lifted one of her hands.

Ellen DeGeneres looked at her with furrowed eyebrows.

“Oh, it’s you,” she muttered and then stepping aside to let Regina in.

“Yep, it’s me,” Regina answered simply and made her way to the spacious and neat living room. She noticed that the heater was already turned on. Well, at least her friend wasn’t too busy to turn on the heater.

The sunshine was shining through the windows on the other side of the room, making the room felt a lot warmer, brighter, and more comfortable.

The living room was equipped with a large couch, two armchairs, and a small wooden table in the middle of it. The floor was coated with a thick carpet. The shelves that were mostly filled with many kind of books –mostly about music- were covering some parts of the walls.

Regina glanced at the black piano which stood on the other side of the room. The piano was opened and there were music sheets, that was filled with scratches here and there, were scattered around the piano; on top of the piano, on the small piano bench, on the small table beside the piano, and also on the floor around the piano.

“I thought you were still back in Atlanta,” Ellen’s voice was finally heard behind Regina’s back.

Regina did tell Ellen that she and her dance team, would participate on the dancing competition which would be held in Atlanta. Well, it was a good thing that her friend remembered that.

She turned her body, looking at her friend who finally walked into the living room.

“I came back to NY yesterday, in the evening,” Regina replied lightly.

Ellen raised both of her eyebrows. “Really?” she slightly shook her head and went back to sit in front of the piano.

Regina walked into the kitchen. “Is there any drinks in here? I’m thirsty as hell,” she opened the refrigerator’s door and yelled, “you really have nothing in here other than waters?”.

“I don’t know. Find it yourself,” Ellen yelled back half-heartedly.

Regina sighed and took a bottle of water and then slammed the refrigerator door. She walked back into the living room, where her friend was already facing the piano and placed her fingers on the fingerboards, playing some light tones.

“So, what makes you so busy right now that you can’t even take your time to answer a phone call from your lifetime bestfriend? The preparation for the next week’s concert?” she asked, and then took a gulp of the cold water directly from the bottle.

“Nope,” Ellen muttered. She didn’t look at Regina, frowning at her fingers on the piano instead. “I just want to finish this,” her fingers were moving swiftly back on the keys, and the beautiful chiming of the piano was fulfilling the apartment.

And then suddenly, she stopped and muttered to herself. “Ugh, this isn’t right,”.

Regina blinked her eyes. “What? Why? I think that’s perfectly beautiful,” she commented. “Your new song?”

Ellen didn’t give her any answer. She got back to frowning on the piano’s keys and seemed she had been immersing herself in her own world. Not a new thing to Regina who had been her friend since they were babies.

“Ellen?”

The one who was being called didn’t give any respond even though Regina stood exactly beside her.

“Ellen,” Regina called out once more, a bit louder this time.

Still no reaction.

“Ellen!”

This time Ellen lifted her head, staring at Regina with annoyance. “What?”

This time Regina glared at her friend. “You need to freaking get away from your piano for awhile,” she stated firmly. “You need to get out of this apartment. How long have you been in here? Since you were back from Europe last week? This isn’t healthy, you know?”

“I went out yesterday,” Ellen denied, but the tone on her voice was unsure.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, I went out to….. to…..,” she was quiet, and then looked up to Regina with her still-furrowing-eyebrows. “Why do I have to explain all of this to you, anyway?”.

Regina sighed. “Okay. We need to get out of here. Come on, we’ll grab lunch. It’s on me,”

“No, thanks. I’m not hungry,”

“So, what will you do? Just sit here and glaring angrily at your piano for the rest of the century?” Regina asked sarcastically. “Oh, come on, El. Let’s get out for a while. Maybe when you get back after you have a nice lunch and taking a stroll to see what’s the world out there look like you’ll have a great inspiration to finish your new song. Come on,” Regina started to persuade her friend seriously.

Ellen finally stood up and groaned. “Sometimes I forget that you can be so annoying,” she grumbled.

“Where did I put that damn key?” she said to herself, throwing her sight all over the room.

Regina lifted a pile of papers filled with some song notes on the coffee table and found the car key. “Come on, now,” she said, directly heading to the door.

Ellen grabbed her jacket and followed her friend.

“Anyway, you haven’t done what you have always wanted to do regarding seeing me today,” Ellen said to Regina after they exited the apartment. “You forgot?”

Regina looked at her friend confusedly. “What do you mean?”

Ellen smiled. “You came here to brag about yourself and your team for winning the dance competition in Atlanta, didn’t you?”

Regina glared at her friend with a fake hurt expression. “Just so you know, since you didn’t pick up any phone calls from your family, I came all the way here just to make sure that you’re still alive and sane. To remind you that you still have a caring mother, father, and friend who worried about you all the time,” she explained elaborately.

“Hmm..” Ellen hummed.

“And to show off about my team because we freaking won the competition!” Regina finally admitted and smiled widely. “You know me so well, don’t you?”

Ellen laughed. “Just as well as you know me,”

Ellen would never admit this to her friend, but she actually did feel a lot better after going out of her apartment. Her head didn’t feel so heavy anymore. Leaving her work for a second and strolling down the road, inhaling the fresh air might have its own advantages.

Actually, Ellen wasn’t a workaholic. At first, after wrapping up her concerts in Europe, she had a plan to have a rest for a while, really really relaxing before she got to start the next concerts in the US. But, on the flight back home to New York, she suddenly got an inspiration to make a new song. But she couldn’t finish this new song because the damned inspiration evaporated into thin air just like that when she stepped her feet back in New York City.

The fact that she couldn’t finish that song drove her crazy, because she was the kind of person who had to finish what she had started.

“So, where are we going to eat?” Ellen finally asked when they were already in the car.

“There’s a nice restaurant which is almost always full with people near my studio. You wanna give it a shot?” Regina asked.

“As far as I know, there are no nice restaurant near your studio,” Ellen frowned, trying to remember.

“Not in my usual studio, “ Regina corrected. “I mean near the studio where I teach right now. It’s close to the Greenwich Village. These couple of weeks I’ve been sparing my time to teach the hip-hop class for the teenagers,”.

Ellen stole a glance at her friend for a second, raising her eyebrows. “You? Teaching?” she asked doubtfully. Okay, her friend was a really, really good and talented dancer. She and her team had frequently won on various competitions, national and international levels. But Regina Collins was defiantly not the type of person who could teach other people.

Regina gave a wide smile in response. “Just sometimes. But it’s quite surprising, isn’t it? You didn’t think I can ever teach?”

“Why, of course not,” Ellen replied bluntly. “So what makes you do it?”

Regina sighed, but the smile was still hanging on her lips. “Because she asked me to do it,”.

“She? ‘She’ who?”

“Portia,”

“Portia who?”

“Portia de Rossi,”

Ellen frowned again, trying to recall that name, because the way Regina said that name, it was like everybody in the world should know who this Portia was. But nope, she was sure she didn’t know anybody with such name.

“She kinda asked me if I can come over just once in a while and teach for the hip-hop class at the studio she usually teaching in – she’s a dancer too, you know? A contemporary dancer. Very talented. I once saw her dance and I was just………. wonderstruck,” Regina was silenced for a second, as though she was drowning in the charm she just talked about.

And then she continued, “well, essentially she just asked me if I could teach the hip-hop class because they’re out of decent instructors. I mean, how could I ever say no to the chance of seeing her again, right?”

“Mmm,” Ellen hummed again in response while nid-nodding her head, signing that she understood. “So, you like this girl,”

“Yep,” Regina answered honestly. “Me and probably another dozens of boys and girls,”

“Ah, the popular girl,” Ellen commented.

“You can say that again,” Regina agreed and then thinly smiled. “She’s a sweet girl. And funny. And smart. And kind. And….. I don’t know, she makes everything feels good, you know what I mean?”

Oh god, my friend just turned into a mushy, sentimental person, Ellen sighed in her heart. “So, does she like you too?”

This time Regina let out a long sigh. “That’s the problem. I don’t know,”

Ellen stole another glance at her friend. “What do you mean you don’t know?”

“I really don’t know,” Regina said again. “Sometimes I think she likes me. You know, there are times when she looked at me, smiled at me, or when she talked to me, and I think she likes me. But then, I realized that she looks, smiles, and talks to everybody else the same way. So, yeah… I have no clue,”.

Ellen laughed loudly. “Regina, my friend, you’re clearly being toyed,” she said bluntly. “If she’s a popular girl, I can imagine already how good she is at controlling boys and girls who’s swarming around her. That’s including you, poor poor Regina,”.

Regina shook his head lightly. “No, she’s not that kind of girl. Not even close,” she denied quietly.

“Look, why don’t we stop by the studio for a second and I’ll introduce you to her. Then, you’ll know that your assumption is really really wrong,” Regina offered excitedly.

Ellen didn’t answer, only smiling and shrugging her shoulders.

“And if you’re really the expert on assessing women, maybe after seeing her and correcting your earlier judgment about her, you can give me a bit of clue on how do I approach her,” Regina added.  

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“Well, this is the place. Come on in,”

Ellen stopped her step, looking at the rocky three-floored building in front of herself. The signboard that was hanging above the door said ‘Small Steps Big Steps Dance Studio’. Ellen followed Regina who was already entering the building and passing by the concierge desk.

Regina said hi to the old woman behind the desk who smiled back with a big smile on her face.

“Is that the one whose name is Portia?” Ellen threw a joke drily.

“Ha-ha, funny,” Regina muttered flatly. “She’s usually upstairs, in the studio. Come on,”

Ellen chuckled a bit but following Regina ascending the stairs to the second floor. “You haven’t told me anything about how did you get to meet this Portia girl, by the way,”.

Before Regina could answer, suddenly there was a very loud audible gasp from up above them, followed by a loud noise. They both were simultaneously looking up. Everything happened in a blink of an eye that Ellen couldn’t even see what was going on.

Something fell from the top stairs, smashed her real hard, made her lost her balance and finally rolled down the stairs uncontrollably.

“Ellen!”

Ellen heard Regina shouting her name before she finally hit the ground and her head collided with something hard. Her sight was blackened for some time and the darkness was spiraling behind her shut eyes. She couldn’t talk. She could even barely breathe.

“Ellen! Oh god, Ellen, are you alright?”

She heard Regina’s worried voice but didn’t have the ability to talk back.

“Portia?” Regina’s voice was heard again. This time, there was even more worries in her tone. “Portia, are you okay?”

Ellen tried to open her eyes and finally realized what was it exactly suppressing her to the ground and made her chest felt extremely heavy.

The girl with long blonde hair who was on top of her body blinked her eyes, and then those blue-greyish eyes were widened in shock.

“Oh. OH! Oh, god! I am so sorry,” she tried to stand up as quick as she could manage.

“Portia, why…? What happened?” Regina asked while pulling up the girl’s arm to help her standing up.

The girl cringed when her right feet stepped on the ground.

“Ouch, ouch. Wait a second…”

“Is your feet sprained?” Regina asked worriedly.

Ellen looked at her friend in disbelief. Regina was taking care of the girl and not even glancing at her bestfriend who was lying helpless on the ground? She swore in her mind to have a payback at Regina for this later. Ellen tried to sit up. She used her hand to support her body but straightly attacked by an extraordinary pain.

“Is there any other injury?” Regina’s voice was heard again and that was surely not directed to Ellen. “Was your head knocked? I think we should get to the hospital,”

“No!” the girl rejected quickly. “Why do we have to go to the hospital? No. I’m fine,”

“But you better check yourself on the hospital. Just to make sure,” Regina said again.

“No, that won’t be necessary. I told you, I’m fine. It’s alright,”

“But….”

Ellen finally  managed to sit up -painstakingly- and cutting her friend, “I think we should go to the hospital,”.

The girl turned her head to Ellen’s direction. “Really. I really don’t need to go to the hospital. I a—“

“Not you,” Ellen interjected with a sharp voice through gritted teeth, holding back the pain which was rasping on her left wrist. “It’s me,”

This time Regina finally turned her head toward Ellen.

“Oh, god…”