Today was a really good day.
At least that's what Ellen thought while she was running through the rain towards her car at the parking lot of a shopping center. Even though the temperature that day wasn't really friendly, even though the sky was extremely gloomy, and even though the rain had been pouring down eversince she and Portia left her apartment earlier in the morning, Ellen still felt that today couldn't be more perfect.
How could it not be? Today, her bandage was taken off and her hand was completely healed as it was. She could move her wrist without any trouble and she could play piano again.
The other reason was today Portia de Rossi was back by her side. Portia was around her, Portia was with her.
And Ellen could sense the feeling of her world becoming fully intact again.
Today Ellen wouldn't think about Portia's answer of what would happen if the medicines don't work for her anymore.
What will happen? I guess you'll never see me again.
When Portia said that, Ellen was sure that her heart stopped beating for couple of seconds.
If the medicines don’t work anymore, then there won’t be other way to save me other than searching for a new heart.
No, Ellen didn't want to think about that possibility. At least not now. Ellen didn't want to be forced to face the fact that Portia's condition was, actually, not well and even worsening as the time passes by. Portia was fine. Nothing bad would ever happen to that girl. Ellen would make sure of it.
Ellen drove her car towards the main lobby of the shopping center, where Portia had been waiting for her, along with their bags of purchases.
"I really had a moment where I thought we won't ever come out of that mall alive. Too many people," Portia grumbled while helping Ellen putting the bags on Ellen's Porsche trunk. Ellen had refused to get into Portia's yellow Beetle again since she was able to drive now. "I really don't get it why you decided on shopping for Christmas goods a week before Christmas. Don't you know that people usually shop for all these things, like, a month or two months earlier?"
"Have you bought all of the Christmas goods yourself?" Ellen replied back with a question once they were inside the warm car.
"Of course I have," Portia said, buckling up while Ellen started to exit the parking lot. "I don't like shopping in the last minutes. I hate milling around and being stuck amidst the sea of people like that."
"Hey, what's wrong?" Ellen asked, a bit worried when she saw Portia closed her eyes and rubbing her temple with one hand.
Portia shook her head. "Just a bit dizzy. You're lucky I didn't pass out back there due to lack of oxygen," she said and smiled a bit. "I hate overcrowded place. I have no idea why I agreed on going shopping with you at this time of month."
Ellen chuckled. "Perhaps because I paid for the lunch?"
Portia scrunched her nose in disagreement, but then smiled again. "Yeah, I think I'm a sucker for good foods. Are you going to buy me dinner as well?"
Ellen shrugged. "No probs. Since you've agreed on accompanying me this entire day, I think it's fair to buy you a nice dinner."
"Really?" Portia asked with her eyes gleaming in excitement. "Well, what about the Moratti's, then?"
"Alright," Ellen replied. "Paolo and Eleanor must want to meet you as well. They asked me about you when I met them last week."
"Yeah?" Portia asked, smiling a little. "How were they doing?"
Ellen nodded. "Good. They asked why I didn't bring you. When I told them that we had a fight and that you didn't want anything to do with me anymore, they lectured me right away, can you believe that?"
Portia raised her eyebrows. "Did you tell them the reason of we fighting?"
"No. Don't worry. I just told them that I said some stupid things that made you really angry at me and refused to talk to me," Ellen said. "As I was saying earlier, they scolded me and told me to apologize to you right away. Unfortunately, they weren't aware of the fact that I was trying to apologize to you, but you, on the other hand, was avoiding me night and day."
Portia laughed a little but didn't say anything.
"And then, they prohibited me to come to their place again before we reconcile," Ellen continued.
Portia's eyes widened. "They didn't!"
"They... didn't," Ellen said and smiled widely, and Portia slapped her arm jokingly. "They just asked me to bring you there once we're good."
"You know," Portia said while thinking, "before we go there later, I think I'd better buy them something. I mean, as a way of saying thanks to them for inviting me to the dinner the other day. What do you think?"
"Sounds good to me," Ellen said. "Well, we should call Eleanor and tell them that we're coming tonight."
"Oh, and tell her that she won't need to prepare the dessert because we will," Portia cut in. "We'll stop by to a patisserie before we go there."
"Okay," Ellen said. Glancing at her watch and said, "We still have time to do something else before going to the Moratti's. What do you want to do now? Go home?"
"I want to buy a Christmas tree!" Portia exclaimed.
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes, for your apartment."
"My apartment? Why?"
"Because you don't have one."
"I don't usually put up a Christmas tree in my apartment."
"Why not?"
"Why should I?"
"Everybody puts up a Christmas tree on Christmas season."
"I don't."
"Oh, come on. Your apartment would be a lot more cheerful if there's a Christmas tree inside."
"I don't need a cheerful apartment. Moreover, putting up and decorating a Christmas tree takes lots of time and energy."
"Decorating a Christmas tree is really fun, Ed! And if you're not really keen on decorating it, just let me do it."
"What about we use your plants as a replacement of the Christmas tree? You can decorate your plants in my apartment."
"....................."
"What do you think? Great idea, right?"
"....................."
Ellen nudged Portia's with her elbow. "De Rossi? Don't want to talk to me? Come on."
Portia only scowled and stared at the window.
Ellen sighed. "Alright, alright, we're going to buy a Christmas tree."
This time Portia turned her head to Ellen and stared at her with beaming face. "You won't regret it, Ed. You'll see."
Ellen laughed and shook her head several times. "You're really troublesome, de Rossi."
But she knew well enough that she wouldn't regret her decision. Like she once had said to herself, she's willing to do anything as long as Portia de Rossi smiled at her the way she was now.
"Since I've agreed upon buying a Christmas tree, are you going to give me a Christmas present?" Ellen asked again.
"Do you wish for a Christmas present from me?" Portia asked and blinked her eyes in surprise.
"Of course, woman," Ellen said while looking at Portia seriously. "You better prepare a present for me. If you don't, the present that I've prepared for you would be given to my.... my grandma!"
Portia snorted and laughed. "You've prepared me a present? Is it back there in the trunk? Among the things that you bought earlier?"
"Nope. I bought it last week."
Portia's eyebrows shot in another surprise, but then she couldn't help but spread a wide smile on her face. "You did? So, what did you buy for me?"
Ellen shook her head. "No, I'm not going to tell you now. It's a surprise. But as I said earlier, if I don't get a present, then neither do you."
"Fine. I'll consider it," Portia said and shrugged.
"You'll consider it?" Ellen turned to her with an exaggerated expression of disappointment. "What...?"
"Oh, stop complaining," Portia interjected. "First thing first, we buy the Christmas tree. No Christmas tree, no present."
Now, when did actually they switch their position? Back then, the girl was the one who should follow all of Ellen's instructions and demands. Right now, Ellen found herself complying to whatever the girl wanted happily. The effect that the girl had on her was quite unsettling. But what's more unsettling was the fact that Ellen was, in fact, content with their condition right now.
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"So, they'll deliver the Christmas tree to your place tomorrow morning?" Portia asked when they had finally purchased the Christmas tree that they were fond of.
"Yes," Ellen said and started the engine, "so you'll be able to decorate it by tomorrow morning."
"And you'll be helping me to decorate it, Ellen DeGeneres."
"Oh, god," Ellen groaned eventhough Portia knew that the woman wasn't really mind to help. "Well, we shall see."
Portia laughed a bit and looked away to the street outside the blurry window because of the raindrops. The rain had turned into small drizzles that had never failed on soothing Portia. She loved rain. She loved watching the raindrops from behind a window with a cup of hot chocolate in her hands. Watching the rain was really comforting for her.
The same feeling she got whenever she had the chance to spend her time with Ellen. Portia bit her under lips and stole a glance at the woman who was driving beside her. Spending her time with Ellen also made her feel... comfortable? Peaceful? Portia couldn't think of a decent word to describe her feeling. Whatever it was, it made her able to breathe more easily, as though she could just close her eyes and not worry about anything in this world. Something like that.
"Are we now going to the patisserie you talked about?" Ellen suddenly asked and glanced at her watch.
"Hm?" Portia blinked.
Ellen turned to her, smiled, then back to paying attention at the road ahead. "Didn't you say you wanted to buy something for Eleanor?" Ellen asked again.
"Oh, yes. Well, so off we go to a patisserie that makes the most delicious tartlet in the entire New York City."
20 minutes later, they stopped in front of a small store with French style in Madison Avenue. The board above the store said 'A Piece of Cake' in an antique font.
"This is it?" Ellen asked to Portia when they got off of the car and stood in front of the store, peeking inside from the window.
Portia nodded. "Yes, me and my mom buy our favorite cakes here. Let's go inside."
Ellen looked a bit hesitant. "De Rossi, I'm not sure if I want to go inside the store."
Portia who was already standing on the threshold stopped, turned back and stared at Ellen in confusion. "Why?"
"I'm not comfortable around something that's too...... cute?" Ellen mumbled with furrowed brows. "Don't you think so? See, this store is dominated with pastel purple."
Portia laughed. "Oh my god, you're ridiculous. No, this store is not too cute. Be grateful that they don't paint it in pink. Now stop whining and get in."
Ellen was still not moving from her place. Portia sighed and stepped towards Ellen. "Oh, come on, Ed. Don't be a sulky child here. It's still raining and the weather's so cold," she said and slid in her hand to the curve on Ellen's arm and tried to drag her to enter the store. "You can continue on scowling inside. What about that?"
Portia let her hand to slide down from Ellen's arm to her wrist and reached for the tip of her jacket's sleeve, still trying to drag the stubborn woman. It seemed like her effort was working because Ellen sighed in defeat and let Portia drag her into the store. But suddenly, Ellen twisted her wrist and held Portia's hand firmly.
Portia was quite sure that her heart skipped some beats when Ellen's hand touched hers. Did she just complain about the cold weather? Well, weird. Because now she's feeling so very warm. She looked up to Ellen who showed no particular expression.
"Alright," Elen muttered and started to walk towards the store's front door. "Let's get this done as quick as possible."
Portia remained on her place and pulled Ellen's hand, made her stop walking. In spontaneity, Portia leaned over a bit and kissed Ellen's right cheek. "That's for today," she simply said.
Ellen was a bit bewildered for a moment, but the next second, she smiled and nodded her head. "Let's go," Ellen said and opened the store's front door, causing the little bell to ding.
Portia looked down to hide her smile behind her scarf, but she let Ellen holds her hand while they're stepping in.
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Regina were walking down the pavement with Jake, one of her dancing friends, when she saw Ellen got off of her Porsche which was parked on the side walk ahead of them.
"Oh, check it out. It's Ellen," she said and pointed her finger to draw Jake's attention.
"Who? Your pianist friend?" Jake asked and fixed the position of his beanie so he could see clearer.
Before Regina got the chance to answer, she saw Portia also getting off the car. Regina couldn't hold back a smile. She couldn't hold back her reaction whenever she saw Portia even though the girl had already explained that to her, Regina was merely a good friend. Regina was still allowed to hope that one day Portia might change her mind, right?
Regina was about to marched towards Ellen and Portia when she saw Portia suddenly held Ellen's arm, then looked up to Ellen and said something while smiling brightly. And then she tugged on Ellen's jacket's sleeve, trying to insist the woman to follow her.
But that's not what had Regina stoned on the sidewalk. What got her astonished and stoned at the same time was seeing Ellen reached and held Portia's hand. The way she did it was so light and chummy, as though she had done it hundreds of times and was so familiar with Portia's hand. Regina knew that Ellen and Portia's relationship was getting better with time, but......
Then, she saw what she didn't expect to see at all. Portia leaned over to Ellen and pecked Ellen's cheek. Regina almost couldn't help but to hang her mouth in aghast.
"Yo, Gina, isn't that Portia?" Jake asked and nudged Regina's arm. "So now she's with your friend?"
Regina didn't have the ability to answer while she witnessed Ellen and Portia entering one of the stores along the street. When they were out of sight, Regina finally found her ability to move again. She crossed the street, trailed by Jake behind her, towards the front of the store. From where she was standing, Regina could see Portia was talking with a young woman while Ellen was observing some cakes on the display. Then Ellen moved her left hand -- which was still holding Portia's hand -- to draw the girl's attention. Portia turned to Ellen, listened to what Ellen was saying, then laughed, softly hit Ellen's arm with her other hand then got back to talking with the young woman of the store.
Regina might not be able to see Ellen's face because her friend was standing with her back against Regina, but she was able to clearly see Portia's face when Portia turned to Ellen. Seeing Portia staring at Ellen in that way made Regina's chest felt heavy. And she could barely breathe because of the disappointment that has suddenly clouded her.
Seeing Portia staring at Ellen like that had made her realize that the girl might smile to either Ellen and Regina in the same way, but she was clearly did not look at them in the same way.
Seeing Portia staring at Ellen like that had made her realize that Portia liked Ellen. It was clearly written in her face, and most of all, her eyes. Portia de Rossi liked Ellen DeGeneres.
More than she liked Regina.
Regina took a deep breath and she jammed her hands into her jacket's pocket. Forming them into fists subconsciously.
Jake who was standing next to her, also seeing Ellen and Portia inside the store. He turned to Regina and said, "Hey, I thought you were after that girl," he asked in surprise, snapping Regina out of her thoughts.
Regina exhaled roughly and slowly clenched her jaw. "Let's get going," she mumbled to Jake and turned away to leave. Thousands of questions were spinning inside her head.
Did Ellen like Portia as well?
It seemed so.
Ellen knew that Regina liked Portia, but why did she....?
Growing up together with Ellen, they had never fought over something. Even when they were babies, they had never fought over toys, or attention, or dresses, or anything. They also had never fought over a woman.
Until now.
Because right now, whether they intended to or not, they had to fight over something. Because for this one, Regina wouldn't want to share. And if her thoughts was right, neither would Ellen.
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